Life Lessons on the Tennis Court

Summary
Lessons learned on the tennis court can be applied to life. Every situation is a classroom, teaching us valuable lessons. It's important to dial into these situations and ask ourselves what we are meant to learn from them. The more we put thought and resonance into the lessons, the more we understand ourselves. Context is everything, and without it, nothing matters. We should withhold judgment and honor that we don't know everything. It's important to find our own connection and beliefs, based on our own experiences and intuition. Tolerance and respect for everyone's journey is key.

Keywords
tennis, life lessons, classroom, situations, learning, context, judgment, connection, beliefs, tolerance

Takeaways

• Every situation in life is a classroom, teaching us valuable lessons.
• We should ask ourselves what we are meant to learn from each situation.
• Context is important, and without it, nothing matters.
• We should find our own connection and beliefs based on our own experiences and intuition.
• Tolerance and respect for everyone's journey is key.

Transcript

Hi family, thanks for joining me today. Today I'm gonna tell you some lessons I have learned on the tennis court and they have nothing to do with tennis, so hang with me. But it is a place I spend a lot of time and I understand that the relationships I have and the situations and experiences that I choose are meant to be my teacher. And so when you start understanding,

that in all of these situations that we find ourselves in regularly, it is like a classroom. And the more you dial into that, the more obvious and apparent the lessons can be for you. But that can be as an employer, as an employee. These are classrooms that you are learning through as a parent. my goodness, our children are our greatest teachers.

It can be as a gardener, what you learn as you're watching cycles of life, as you're dealing with pests. There's so many lessons that are put there to say, like, can you get this? Can you find this meaning? And so when you start dialing into all of these situations are just a classroom. What am I meant to learn from this? You'll start seeing how really

the lessons just unfold for you and the more you kind of put voice to them or put thought to them and resonate with the lesson, just the more they kind of pile on one after another of you being able to understand yourself more fully through these experiences. And I mean, it can even dial in little lessons for you. And so I just want to show you.

some of the lessons that I have extracted from tennis because I've been on the court a good bit lately. And hopefully it'll help you start to see how the situations that you're in regularly also have these lessons that are just tucked away waiting on you to discover them. It's almost like a treasure hunt. What can I learn from this situation today and make it a game.

because it's really fun when we understand that you're only here to learn. And so as you uncover these lessons and learn more about yourself and how you respond in situations and what's best for your future or whatever, these lessons are here for you. This information is here for you and it's never.

Like, hey, Susan, this is the choice you should make. I often deliberate with things and go back and forth. And so one of the ones I'm going to tell you about is with my diet. And I talk to you all the time about refining my diet so that it's best for my energetic body. And so it's one of those things I go back and forth with a lot. I understand that being a vegan would be

really good for my energetic body. And I've gone back and forth with this a lot. And so this is one of the lessons I learned on the tennis court I want to share with you. But I also want to tell you about somebody else that I worked with who is doing wonderfully. And it's okay if you're having that period of your life where it just feels aligned and good, that is something to celebrate. And so when I asked her about her spiritual practice,

There was this guilt that came through like, I know I should be meditating. I should be doing this. I should be doing this. And spirit wanted her to know like, no, you know, you shouldn't. You're actually in a really good place and meditation is wonderful, but complicating your energy with the should of needing to meditate is worse. So abandon that if it feels a line for you and you can great, but

having guilt that you are not showing up in a certain way is actually kind of counterintuitive. It is exactly opposite of what meditation would provide, which is kind of elevating your consciousness, elevating your vibration. When you have guilt because you're not doing it is actually working against you. And so it was just like, Hey, you're doing, you're doing great. And so put this out of your mind. Well,

Even though I can tell her that and often have the same experience where it's like, my goodness, I didn't meditate today. I was supposed to do this. There's no supposed to there's no shoulds. Is it a fantastic practice? Absolutely. But when you lack the practice and add in guilt for not having it, instead of progressing one way you have like headed back the other way. And so anyway,

This needed to come through for me on the tennis court. I know that I told you about my states in South Carolina and the outcome, but if you didn't listen to that episode, this is what happens. So we were playing South Carolina 40 and up, which is super crazy and ridiculous because you play four lines, which is basically four matches. Four tennis courts are being played at the same time.

one line of singles and three lines of doubles. Well, what that means is one team can win two and the other team can win two. So then you get down to, okay, it's two and two who won the most sets. And after sets, if everybody, you can go to a third set to win a match or you can win in straight set. So.

And did you win more sets than the other team? And then it comes down to games and it gets like really complicated where it's much easier in the 18 and up where you play five different courts and somebody's going to at least have to win three to win the match. So you can win the match three to two, four to one or five to zero. But there's no like adding up games to see who the winner is, which is completely crazy. Anyway.

That's not what this was. This was a final and it was 40, 40 plus. So we played four courts and I'd had this intuitive hit that morning that said it's going to come down to games. And anyway, I had seen my opponent play the day before in the semi finals match and she looked okay. You know, nothing to be nervous about, but also had an intuitive hit.

that said, hey, she won one and zero. You got to see first gear. There's a lot more to be seen than what she showed you. And so that's fine. But I get out on the court and it was really funny because as we're going through the introductions, it comes out immediately that she's a judge.

because she's telling me about needing the day off because they ended up, you know, they didn't know they'd make the finals and they made the finals and she needed additional time off. So she tells me she's a judge. And then she tells me that she's a vegan. Now I'm in pretty good shape. This girl is leaner and more muscular than me. And so any of those like, if you're vegan, you're not getting enough protein. No, she was lean. She was muscular.

She was so super sweet. So she was just absolutely lovely, but it cracked me up that all of this is coming up straight out the gate. Now, if you've ever heard the joke, like a CrossFitter and a vegan walk into the bar and you know, because this is the first thing they say, it kind of is true. Which is true about CrossFit too. And I am a CrossFitter, which is why I have to say that. Because that's what we do is we tell everybody. Anyway, so.

Immediately, this girl has told me she is a vegan and I can see she is very lean and very muscular and as she proved to me, she is very fast and a very good tennis player. So anyway, these are complex contemplations that, you know, some of which I am thinking about in the match, but usually it is later when I'm journaling that I allow everything that.

was there for me to kind of rise to the surface and for me to put together these contemplations. Anyway, so we play our match and she won the first set six four and I'm down a break. I'm down zero three in the second set. And it's coming to me like it's coming down to games. You better get your your shit together Susan because you're not getting any games and you need some games.

So all of the other courts have finished and they're all sitting there watching us. And we play it out and she ends up winning 6 -4 -6 -4. And it turns out that I had one game to spare to put my team over the line. And it was interesting because when I was talking to her, she also, I mean...

Typically I don't even talk to my opponents that much to keep like game face on, but she was so sweet. So I know that she is single and has a cat, but no

And so as I'm contemplating all of this, this is what I'm putting together is that, you know, one of my issues is I cook for five people. And so already

I have a pescatarian diet and so often I'm cooking two separate meals.

for myself and my

then just make enough for me to have leftovers. But what's coming through as I'm bringing these messages through later is that because of the support of my team, because my team had done enough on the other courts, I lost my battle and we won the war.

Like we won the whole match, even though I lost my particular, my, we call it a line. So I lost my line, my court lost, but my team won. And I started thinking about this vegan situation because I put a lot of shoulds on me about this is what I should do for my energetic body. But it was also a reminder that,

The compromise that I make may shift me individually, but the team that I have, the support that I have, the learning that I have by having my family, more than makes up for whatever is lost in a dietary change. And so I needed the reminder that as we make a concession in one avenue, often what we gain is so much greater.

And so all that I have been doing is putting unnecessary expectation on myself to align in a more perfect way. And I'm not saying vegan is perfect for everybody. I'm saying my energetic body. So just putting that out there, it's not for everybody. It's not for you, whatever. But for me, energetically, I think it would be ideal. However, what is more ideal?

is me being a member of this family, me having the support and the growth and the joy that I have that comes from being part of my family and engaging with them and supporting them and creating healthy meals for

Also, yes, I do know you can cook vegan for a family. I'm telling you, my family is not on board. So that is not an option in this house. But it was just that reminder that I needed.

where I'm contemplating the judge and there being a verdict and her being a vegan, but also being solo and me being a part of this team, both the tennis team and my family team and what I got it for that. And it was so important for me to understand that it was, it was rolled out by the universe. Hey, Susan, think about it this way.

She could have been a different occupation. She could have, you know, had a completely normal, regular diet that wouldn't have come up in conversation. Like none of this had to happen, but it, it provided me so much opportunity for introspection when all of this aligned just that, that it did, that I lost my match. I had won my other two matches at state so easily and it,

was perfectly placed for me to lose my personal match and then our team still win and see that value that the people around you supporting you, lifting you up, like that has so much value and it is not all a one -on -one game. And so while there can be great things about being individual and being solo and that is, that is some

That is what some people are here to do is to experience independence, to experience focusing on themselves and putting themselves first. However, that is not my experience. That is not why I'm here. I am part of this family and to understand how much support and growth and opportunity I have as a member of this team, I needed that. I needed that reassurance that,

What I'm doing is enough. Winning the games and not the match allows my team to thrive. And that's what I needed from that situation. But is that all I learned from tennis? Why, no, it's not. But there's more.

You guys, life is mental. That's all. DG's, Derrick Grant's, like whole brand is life is mental.

And life is mental, as is tennis. Tennis is so freaking mental, it's ridiculous. It's why it's such a streaky game where people can kind of play their way into form. It's really building on confidence, building on that self -talk. I was with the same team two years ago at States and we had a

a duo, a doubles duo who was just being so hard on themselves. And I was like, my gosh, you cannot be out there telling yourself you're awful. You have to say, I am awesome. I am awesome. And so as they were playing, I think in that, that match, I finished my line first and I was cheering for them. And I'm up on the balcony, raising my hands up and down going, I am awesome. I am awesome.

not me saying you are awesome, but start saying to yourself, I am awesome because it is so mental. And so now we have a kind of running little joke that when arms go up and down in the air, that is to remind yourself that you are awesome. And even when I was playing my singles match this year, I looked over and my teammate Rachel has her arms going up and down like you are awesome. And so it is just about that self talk.

If you get up to the line and you say don't double fault, don't double fault, what are you gonna do? You're gonna double fault because your energy has been put into double faulting. Like that's where your energy is. And so it is a great stage to practice self -talk and to understand how important...

I mean, you see it in every point, in every game, in every match on the tennis court, but it's the same in life. When you show up in the day and you're like, my God, this is going to be terrible. Guess what, friends? You are writing the script for it to be terrible. And so tennis is just this microcosm of perfectly playing out where your confidence is, where your self -talk is.

And it's interesting because going into that tournament, I had had very low self -confidence. Two years ago when I was playing and we went to states, I was playing five times a week and then my rating got bumped up and I just don't play as much. I don't have the whole network of people to play with at that higher level. And so my opportunities for play,

went down by 70%. Well, your level also drops by 70 % if you're not playing. And so this year at the end of the year, I appealed to get my rating back down. But we have this crazy winter where it, I mean, it was like brutally cold or pouring down rain. It was just kind of a banana winter.

for us to get out and play and so when spring started I just haven't been playing a lot of tennis and I didn't feel like I got I just didn't have my level and So I wasn't feeling confident and I ended up having a mixed match Which is when a girl and a boy play against a girl and a boy That's what makes tennis is and and I played with my partner from two years ago and last year I didn't play mixed at all because at the higher level I

I'm not a good fit for that level anyway. I played with him and we're playing and I just wasn't playing the level I know that I can or no, no, no, no, no, no. My confidence was low. So I was playing the level that I thought I was. However, he knew me. We played together when I was playing with significantly more confidence. And instead of berating me or being like, what?

What is going on? What are you doing? He was like, you are Susan F in Sutherland. Remember that. And I'm telling you guys, just having somebody say, I believe in you. I know you can do this. That became my mantra through both States tournaments was you're Susan F in Sutherland and just.

igniting that belief in myself that I can do this. my God, your whole game changes. And it's interesting because some doubles partners will be out there and it'll be like, you can feel their disappointment. You can hear them sigh or shake their head. And I will tell you that is not a good way to enhance somebody's performance. So whether it is your life,

partner or your tennis partner or your child, if you want them to improve, if you want to enhance their performance in any way, make them feel better about themselves. Don't make them feel bad about themselves. Pump them up and say, Hey, I know what you're capable of. You can do this. And when you do that, it just kind of ignites a flame.

inside them to be like, yeah, I actually can. You hear stories all the time where, you know, an author reflects back on one teacher who said, you can be a writer one day. And they took that little seed and they kept it and they let it, you know, germinate it and foster what they needed until they had the courage. They had the

the patients or whatever it took to put their book out. But all along, it was just a seed that somebody planted that said, I believe in you. And if you are looking for somebody to, to compliment you in your life, you are looking for them. I don't mean compliment like your dress is nice. I'm saying if you feel like you've stepped up and you need somebody else to step up as well, berating them.

is not the avenue to take. Tell them that you know you can be a powerful partnership, that you're so glad you're in this together and that you can support them in whatever they need. When we speak to people with love and encouragement, what you get back from them is a confident version of themself that wants to excel. They want to not please you like a people pleaser, but it's like, yes, I wanna do this.

Whereas if you talk down to somebody, you kind of shrink their energy, you shrink their confidence and tinnitus and life is mental. And so when you are approaching things from that negative space where you don't feel good enough, you don't feel worthy enough, you don't feel talented enough, you will not bring forth your best performance. You can't, you just can't. And so the more you can lift people up and encourage them,

the better they'll be, the better they'll be as an employee, as an employer, you know, like when we can find the things and it may not be everything, but I know when, you know, if you go to a management training class, they'll always say, find something good to lead with and finish with. And whatever you see in which in the middle,

That's what you would like to work on. And so, you know, if it's tennis and it's like, your returns are great, why don't you return and see if you can come in and we'll do da da da da. Like whatever you want to say to them, lead with a positive. my goodness, this is so important for your children too. So that what they hear is not a dagger first, lift them up.

Lift them up first, tell them what they're doing great, and then say, maybe we can work on this or what's a new strategy for us to address this. But when you allow them to feel loved and seen and encouraged first, they will be so much more receptive to whatever follows. Because a lot of times when people hear something negative, they immediately retract. They immediately go in the defensive.

and struggle and you're not going to have a receptive audience for whatever you're going to say. So when you can figure out how to phrase with love, how to phrase with encouragement and honoring the other person and their effort and lifting them to the next level, you can get somebody to raise their level in life in a game by lifting them up. So definitely do

right. The next thing I want to tell you about is that context is everything without context. Nothing matters. So what I'm telling you this is because with related to tennis is that what we have is like an estimated dynamic rating and it will

If you're a captain and you're looking people up to see how strong they are, it's based on their ranking. Their, their rating is based on how they performed during the season. What were their scores and you know, did they demolish strong competition or did they have really close matches with people that they shouldn't have? And that's how you get your estimated dynamic rating. However, this is the tricky thing is because your estimated dynamic rating.

is based on your peer group. And so when we are coming from Charlotte, which is a very big tennis market, and we're playing against people from much smaller markets, their rating can look really good on paper. And they're just not the same competition level in their peer group.

This is where they are, but we have so many people playing against. If you have come out of Charlotte, you have had to beat so many people to get there. This is not to say our market's better. I'm just saying that everything is not even, or you don't know what you're getting until you show up on the court. So this is what I'm getting to. Without context, you have no...

Meaning you don't have any meaning and so any of those ratings don't freaking matter You don't know who their competitors were maybe they'd abolish them But maybe that the person they were playing against and sprained their ankle three days before like you don't understand the context you don't understand anything and that is so true in life and so instead of hearing something and placing value on it I

hearing somebody's opinion and you don't know their full story. Just be really open to, I don't understand. And I'll give you an example of this. If somebody says, she is the best painter, you are going to think her paint is amazing, right? But what is it like? She's the best painter in her class. You're like, okay, wow.

She's the best painter in her class and she's in three -year -old preschool. It's very different. So the best painter does not give you any information. And if you want to say like, wow, this is an amazing artist, but you did not find out that is a three -year -old in preschool, you do not understand the art level that is available. And so it is really important to just always be open -minded that

somebody's opinion or I mean even if it's a systematic rating if you don't have the context behind it it really doesn't matter and I'll give you one example is I was playing after states you go to sectionals and so two years ago we went to sectionals and I was playing in the finals and I ended up beating

This lady, I remember her name was Margie. Her name was Margie and I beat her in the finals. And that impacted my rating. This is how I ended up bumped to another level. Now what that rating didn't show you is that she was a decent amount older than me. I would say at least 10 years older than me. We had both played two singles matches that day, the semi -finals and the finals.

It was 98 degrees, I believe, and she's a diabetic, a type one diabetic. And so all of these things do not go into the computer to say what impacted this match. When did they play the semi -finals? How long was the semi -finals match? Because I'm telling you, on any other day,

at any other match, Marchie would have stomped my butt. Her shots were extremely good. I was able to stay out on the court long enough that, I mean, after a medical timeout, because she was struggling with diabetes, she was struggling with the heat, like none of that goes into it. So without that context, you don't get the whole story. And...

So I encourage you like when I think back on these and that's just how tennis goes, you know, one day, one day you're the one who's not suffering and one day you are and and that's how it goes. But as I apply it to life, as I understand tennis to be my classroom, one that I'm choosing to learn through is important for me to understand in life.

that we do not know the context. And so before you prescribe your value or your opinion, have you understood all of the factors contributing to this? And when you start understanding how without that full context, I mean, because unless it has happened to you personally and you know all of the variables leading up to a situation, you almost never have the full context, do you?

And so it's really important that we, as often as we can, withhold our judgment on other people's situations, on the outcome, on other people's families when you don't know what's going

Just understand that your limited purview, your limited perspective is, is so tiny and it doesn't encompass everybody else's.

experience and their own unique perspective. And so we just have to truly learn to honor.

honor that we are not right. Isn't that hard? Isn't it so hard to understand that you don't know everything? I know it's something I've struggled with because especially as somebody who likes to study and likes to learn, you learn from these books and then you decide that this is the right way. And what I've learned is that saying, the more you know, the more you learn.

the more you know you don't know. And the more that I become comfortable as a seeker, the more that I know that I don't know. I can only say what I am experiencing as this personality, as this ego body that I am right now. This is what I'm connecting with and learning through in this lifetime.

but it's not the same as yours. Our blueprint is different. Our astrological chart, the energies that we are working with are very different. Your family is different. Your classrooms and experiences are different. And so tennis allowed me to explore that in a new way because of these dynamic ratings and how screwed up they are when.

when one says that this person is going to be a real challenge and they very much are not. And then my captain's like, they have the easiest singles. And I go out there and I have a really hard match. And it's because none of those ratings mean anything. We don't have the context of what went into the matches that gave them that rating. So, I mean, they could have been coming back from an injury and building all season, but started off slow. Look, we have no idea. And so,

I was able to really, really take that to the next level after, you know, when I sat down to contemplate all the stuff that has been coming up for me through these tennis matches. And this is my classroom. What am I learning? What am I learning? And that was just a really powerful one for me to understand that other people's opinions or perspectives be at a computer.

be it a scientist, whatever they're coming up with is only through their experience, their learning, their understanding of the data they're receiving. And that's why it is important for me, and it's important for me to encourage you to allow your beliefs and your growth, make sure that it's experiential. That's the right word.

through your experience, through your connection, through your intuition and understanding of what your higher self means. Are you connecting with angels? What feels in your body like it resonates with you? And as we talk more about, you know, alien encounters or multi -dimensional beings, you don't need to take somebody else's word.

for what feels right to you, you can feel into your own body and say, this is what I believe. And so I think that is, I guess what I have learned from religion is that there is something in all of them, all of the scriptures that are meant for us, that are powerful teachers, but I need my relationship with God, my relationship with God,

with spirit to be based on my contact, based on my experiences and my connection. And then it feels true for me. Whereas if it's because somebody else said that I should believe it, it doesn't matter if it's somebody that I trusted. I no longer can because I'm missing the context of all of it. I need it to be my personal.

journey. And then it's still not appropriate for somebody else. It is still my contact. This is my experience. And so what I would encourage you to do is make sure you are finding your connection. And that can be through, through ascended masters. It can be through angels. It can be connecting with your higher self. It can be connecting with mother Gaia, whatever feels like it is.

personal and Relative just to you. I think that's your connection. And so it's important when we lean on other leaders or gurus to know that their experiences like I'm sharing my experiences it is it is because I want to share what I'm learning but more so because I want you to understand that

that when you start experiencing life as a classroom, this is what you can start picking up. You can start looking at, these are the things that are happening. What is my lesson here? And so it's really to encourage you to find your own lessons, to see what is being offered to you as a way to know yourself, as a way to experience the divine in a new way.

get our own paths and that's what's so really, really, really beautiful. And when we can stop saying that this is the way, this is the way that you have to do it and say, this is the way that I'm choosing and I respect your way to find that connection.

I think that's what the world needs is.

is tolerance and how beautiful it would be if we could all understand the classrooms we're working in and say, you know, this is what I learned. Isn't this

Not this is what they learned. Therefore, I must believe it or receive it in that way. It's like if I share it with you and then you say, wow, have you thought about it this way?

What a great conversation and dialogue that could be because as I'm speaking these words, something may drop in for you that I hadn't even considered, that I haven't even thought about. And it might be exactly in relation to these lessons that I'm learning. And that's why sometimes, you know, being in a group that collaborates and has these conscious conversations is really powerful because you can unlock.

levels of learning through your own situations like have you considered this but it requires us all to be open to the fact that everybody is learning in their own perfect way and to really respect everybody's

you know take from everyone else what feels like it resonates for you and then just

peacefully leave the rest. If it doesn't feel like it resonates for you, then that's cool. It's not meant for you. And we're not all here to experience the same things or to grow in the same way. So you don't need to think that their way is not perfect for them. You just don't have to take it as yours. And then, cool.

All right. I think those are those are my big lessons from the court. I'll bring you into another one of my classrooms later. But that's what I have for now. I hope you start

your situations in your environment as the perfect teachers for you and share with me what you're learning. Have a great day. I love you.