Connect with Loved Ones in Spirit

This week I want to remind you that connecting with loved ones on the other side is not something that is reserved for a select few.  Connecting with loved ones is available to absolutely all of us when we are able to move from missing what was to find that the relationship has changed but is not gone.  

When ice melts you can mourn the missing cube or begin to know it differently - as water.  Okay, Grandma is not an ice cube but just because there was a change in form does not mean you cannot continue knowing her... you just have to accept and embrace that it is different.

Thanks for listening.... even when I have an impromptu ramble on and choke back tears as I record.  I am truly grateful to be on this journey with you.

Transcript

Rise and shine, everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy, and sometimes lonely journey. 

So let's do it together. I'm your host, Susan Sutherland. I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor.

We are all called to rise up above our conditioning and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others. So let's get to it. Hello, my family. 

How are you? Have you ever had the rug pulled out from under you real quick? And now I came and I was going to record this podcast and I was ready to go. And I'm recording the day before and have a very small window and had kind of the idea of what I wanted to share with you from my weekend away. And I get down to record this podcast and there's a note from my sister who kept my kids while I was gone. 

I was gone for four nights with Mark and she kept my kids and that threw me for a loop. And then I turned on this webcam and that threw me for a loop because I got five hours of sleep last night. I had to wake up very early for a flight. 

The Mark thinks you need to be the very first person at the airport for any flight. And so we were there several hours early. And I do know traffic can vary in New York. 

You have to be precautious. I'm just a like run to the gate kind of a girl. And he's the get to the Admirals Club and have a coffee and a conference call before. 

Okay, it's a work day for him. I totally get it. But when I turned on this webcam, it reminded me that in my email this morning, I saw an email from Buzzsprout encouraging me to listen to a podcast episode they have out now about whether or not video is necessary. 

And so when I turn on this webcam and I see me, have you ever accidentally turned on your cell phone and it is in selfie mode and you're like, holy hell, neck wrinkles, like what is that about? Okay, that's the experience I just had. And I don't have time to go fix this. And so now I'm thinking that I'm going to go listen to that podcast episode because I don't think anybody watches this on YouTube anyway. 

So why do I even care? Why am I going to go up and like fix my face if nobody's even watching it there? Anyway, so that is some reflection for me to do. But also my sister left me the sweetest note and it has my thoughts diverted. And y'all know that I let kind of spirit, my intuition guide this podcast. 

So there's something I feel really called to say right now because of this note. If I could even read it to you beautiful strangers that are my family, love you. Okay. 

Sue, your home is beautiful, calming and inspiring. Isn't that nice? That was the whole note. No, I'm just kidding. 

Your children are beautiful, energizing and inspiring. Love you so much. P.S. Tell mom hello. 

All right. Let me tell y'all something. It does not matter who you are. 

You have access to loved ones on the other side. I have not done anything to entitle me to connect more with my mother. No, no, no. 

There's no entitlement. I have done more to connect with my mother because I believe the connection to be available to me. What she believes is that the connection is available to me.

Now, what I know I need all of you to know is that the connection is available to you. And I know a lot of people who have lost a loved one recently or since we're in this fantastic age. If you are in my peer group now, our parents are moving into different stages in their old age or advanced age, and some have parents with dementia. 

You can still connect with their higher self that is available to you. So if you see your essence that is inhabiting this body, that is borrowing this vehicle is like the tip of the iceberg and the rest of their essence is available outside of this body and still available for you to connect with. And there is nothing that makes me more entitled to that, more available to that, beyond my willingness to know it is there for me to access. 

It is there for me to connect with. We are coming up on the anniversary of my best friend's death. It has now been three years, which simultaneously blows my mind that it has only been three years and blows my mind that it has been three years because I can still feel myself sitting beside her and laughing with her and hearing her voice. 

And just this week, holy crap, like I came down here to tell y'all some funny stories and now I'm crying all over myself. But just this week, I was texting with a friend of mine who is also a good friend of hers, and she's struggling this time of year. And I had to remind her that we are very close to the anniversary of her passing, which around these kind of anniversaries and birth dates, the veil gets thin. 

It's like their presence is more on our hearts. It is a closeness we feel, but that closeness means that connection is even more available to you. And so, in our seeing that absence of them, that is how we move away from the connection. 

Whereas, if we can start seeing that they are still there and not physical, we invite that connection. And so, it is no less available to you than it is to me. Now, how that connection comes through will be dependent on what you may bring into this lifetime, what you have trained for. 

And when I say trained, these are our skills that can be developed. Clear audience and clear buoyance and feeling spirit around you. Those are things that can be developed, but there are things that don't have to be developed. 

And so, as you start connecting with them in smaller ways, not small or less meaningful, but less like, I need to sign up for this course and do a 12-week training. As you start doing those things, your belief in their presence allows for more connection. When we are in the vibration of grief and sadness, we hold a vibration that is so heavy and so dense that it is hard for their light energy, high frequency bodies to connect with us. 

So, the higher we are, even one of neutrality or acceptance is a far higher frequency in order for them to reach down and make contact. The contact is there for the taking if you set the intention to have it. And that can be through signs. 

I did an episode a long time ago about angel signs and requesting signs and contact with spirit world through signs. And I probably need to follow up to that. But even just this week, there was something. 

And I didn't want to do a meditation and do automatic writing to see if I could channel through information about this. It was like a quick, this, this, or this. I've got three choices that I know in my heart of hearts. 

There's one of three things going on here. I want to see this sign. If it's this, this. 

Okay. I think for me, it was like hot air balloon, an eagle and a flamingo, right? Like these are my three signs. Now I know me and I can say that.

And then tomorrow when a flamingo walks into my bedroom and plucks at my face, I'm going to be like, oh crap, what was the flamingo for? Was the flamingo that, you know, da, da, da, da. So what I do is I claim my sign, my signs. This is, these are my three choices. 

And then I save it in a draft email. Like this is, this is my request. This is what I'm asking. 

And these are the signs that correlate with each response I think available. Also, no sign is a sign. If you don't see any of those, I mean, I saw the same sign, an eagle on a man's tattoo. 

And then the Philadelphia Eagles had something that came on ESPN when I was watching it. But it was like several eagles in a row. Like your sign will find you. 

And likely when you're having this debate within your heart, asking for a sign, the things you think of, like they are placed there for a reason. Like, hey, the universe is about to be able to find some eagles to send your way. Or a flamingo is going to walk into your bedroom. 

But in order to remember what you said, make sure you make a note of it somewhere. Put a little bookmark in your book that you're reading. So that you remember what your signs are. 

But the most important thing is to remember that your friend is not gone. That your mom is not gone. That your grandmother, your anybody, they are not gone. 

They are not physical. They are still available for you. And can still show up in your thoughts. 

Show up in your memories. When you think of something that just makes you laugh. You see something that reminds you of a specific instant. 

Start knowing that they place that memory. That they place that energetic link to them in your heart and in your mind. And that helps you start building that connection back.

Where you move from loss into just a new form of a relationship. And so, I guess when I read this, tell mom hello. My message back is, you tell her hello. 

And that was messaged to my friend where she said, I got so frustrated that I had this big story to tell you guys. And I'm just going to cry through this episode. Already looking like a hot mess, but it is what it is. 

Okay, so my friend was talking about her friend who died, Elizabeth. And she said, I wish I never got to, I wish I got to tell her how much I loved her. I wish I would have been there those last few days so I could tell her, you know, all of these things. 

And a whole list of things she wished she got to say to her. And my response was, tell her now. Stop, stop thinking that she can't hear you. 

Stop thinking that her body was her. She is not her body. You are not your body. 

My mom was not her body. We lost her physicality. But I didn't lose her essence. 

Now, I say that very confidently. I have a great relationship with her now. And I will tell you, it took me 20 solid years to get there.

And so no judgment if you have struggled to move past the loss of what we love. There's nothing that replaces a hug. There's not. 

Darn. There's nothing that replaces holding somebody's hand or hearing their laugh. Although, sometimes, you can still hear it in your heart, right? You can still hear their words, what they would say. 

You can still go back to those funny moments and just hear the most boisterous laugh if that was their personality. And know that's true. Know that that's their spirit bringing that moment back to you. 

And the more we lean into that connection, the more we lean into that presence, the more we get to understand the new relationship that we have. And it's really cool because it's not one where you have to, if you have a mom and you don't have to like sidestep any, like I don't have to filter anything, right? I'm just going to go ahead and assume she knows all the details through the most loving kind lens there could possibly be. Because here we live in polarity. 

Here we live in judgment. That's not what it's like on the other side. So, when I see what I did is wrong, when I see as what I did was the biggest mistake in the world, she sees it as, how did you learn? How did you grow through this? How will you make your next decision? How has it led to your development in this direction? And so, that was kind of who she was anyway. 

I was very lucky in that department. But now it's, I don't have to be the teenage me who's like lying about absolutely everything trying to avoid that. I get to lean into that connection and know that it's true and beautiful. 

And I want you to know that that's really available to you. This is not something where if you haven't, you know, if you're not meditating three hours a day, you're not going to connect with your loved ones. You can connect with your loved ones. 

It can be in your beautiful way. Come up with a song that means something to you and let them know that, hey, this is our song. This is our song.

Maybe it was your song when they were here on this earth. Maybe not. You can create a new song.

You can find different ways to communicate sometimes when you're thinking of them and the exact right commercial comes on TV. Do commercials still come on TV? Maybe that's not even a thing anymore. Okay. 

Well, an ad comes on your YouTube channel. Whatever. Know that they can speak to you through social media, through somebody who has the same name as your loved one coming up and saying, you look really beautiful today. 

You know, my name is Elizabeth, whatever. Just be open to these special encounters and allow that to fill you with the confidence that this connection is available to you. It is not limited to people who are doing this work.

It's not limited to meditators or spiritual people or religious people or any of those people. It's available to everybody. The spirit world is available to everyone and your loved ones want you to have that contact. 

They love you and do not want you feeling that grief. And the number one way for me to overcome any grief is knowing that that connection is available to me. I have to become okay and comfortable with our relationship being different than it was.

It's kind of like, maybe it's not like this at all, but I'm going to go with it anyway. When your kids are young and they are ever present in your world and you're making them three meals a day and you're taking them to live their best life and they are your entire world and then they go to college or they, you know, leave home and get their own apartment and may call you once a week. It is not like the love has changed. 

The relationship has transitioned into a new level and at some point you are really going to embrace the adult version of them that's going to come back and hang out with you in this new adult way or maybe even provide grandkids or, you know, just hang with you in a different way as more of a friend and not a dependent. But that transition is really hard. We want to hang on to what has always been and allowing it to transition into something that we will also love. 

It's not that it's not hard. It is sticky and ugly, but if you understand that on the other side of that is a really beautiful relationship too that is available to you, it might make that journey a little softer. And so I really encourage you to just start setting the intention. 

Set the intention. If you are especially, you know, new to a loss, like really heavy in that grief space, then sometimes it is hard to get out of the dregs of just feeling sad and feeling lost in that grief. And one of the best ways for them to connect with you is in your dream space.

And one of the things that can help them do that is by you setting the intention. When you go to sleep, set the intention to meet with them in the dream world. Okay? Really say, I want to visit. 

And don't be disappointed. Like if you can't remember, this takes practice as remembering and sometimes you'll wake up and be like, wow, that was so real. Or there was something really there for me. 

If you don't remember it, that's okay. Keep setting the intention. But also as you're waking up, that in between time, especially if you can just there for five minutes after your alarm goes off, but you're not alert, you're not into your to-do list, you're not, you know, making coffee and taking showers, but you're just kind of there in that in-between state. 

Then say, I wish to connect with you today. Like that's still where you're in this higher vibration, less dense place because you haven't started your earthly business, your to-do list that gets us all trapped back in the cycle. So really use that time as a means of setting the intention that you wish to connect with your loved ones on the other side and really listening for them or trying to feel their energy. 

And it's okay. I mean, you don't have to say any of this out loud. If you have a spouse in the bed, it doesn't matter. 

Spirit's not speaking to you in English anyway. You can say the intention in your mind quietly. You can set the intention like, let me feel your energy. 

Let me amplify your energy around me so that I can feel this. And it is going to take practice and intention to understand how spirit can work with you because everybody's gifts are different. And one is not, I mean, I get some serious, yeah, I can, I'm trying to decide if I want to use the word jealousy. 

Maybe it's more envy, like serious envy of how things work for other people. Even when I channel energy for like a healing and energy healing, some of what my clients feel or how they see colors and how different things come through to them, I'll be like, wow, that's really cool. I wish that I could do that. 

Now I'm being a conduit for the energy and yet envious of the experience that they are having. And that's just how humanness works, isn't it? We are always seeking something somebody else has. And so I have to check myself and say, well, you know, perhaps for years and years and lifetimes and lifetimes, they worked on that ability and that's not what I've mastered yet.

So I'll keep coming. I'll keep trying. Right. 

But it is to remind ourselves that everything's going to show up perfectly for you, how this needs to come in for you. So that is exactly not what I wanted. Not what I know. 

Listen to me. I'm tripping over my words. That is not what I plan to record. 

But I'll tell you my other stories next week. I want to leave it like that because I feel like I got intercepted and that perhaps there are some people who need this message right now. And that's why it's in here right where I record. 

So I love you. I hope you had a great weekend. I was at the U.S. Open and have discovered that I went to the very last night matches I believe I will ever go to there. 

We went to three in a row. And it's very interesting because like on the second night, the day matches went long. And so they started at least an hour late. 

You buy tickets for two matches. It was a men's match and a women's match. And the men are best of five, which means it can be two and a half hours to five and a half hours long. 

You have no idea. And then the women's are best of three. And since they started late and the men went first, the girls only got on at 11 30 at night. 

And you're sitting there hoping that it hurries up and finishes. Can you imagine going to a concert and paying like too much money to go to a concert and hoping they only play five songs? Like you don't wish it away. But that's how those stupid night sessions are is that you're there and you're almost like, I gotta get home.

I've got a 30 minute subway ride back to the hotel. What are we doing? So we left at 12 30 in the morning, get back to the hotel, I guess 1 30 in the morning. And the girls still played two sets after we left. 

That is some banana bullshit scheduling. So I am sure that USTA are fans of the pod and are listening to this, but that is some crazy stuff. So even though I enjoy the first two hours of the night sessions, it is fun to be there when it's nighttime. 

It does feel electric. Too old for that nonsense for real. So anyway, I'm going to be catching up on a little bit of sleep tonight I hope. 

And I'm going to be setting intentions because I am going to go tell my mom hello. And you know what else I'm going to tell her? I'm going to tell her to go beat my sister over the head with something that she will know like she knows like she knows that it's her mama. I don't know if I can set that intention for somebody else, but I'm going to do it and I know my mom will come through. 

So I love you all. Have a great week. I'll see you soon. 

Or maybe I won't see you at all because I'm going to listen to this Buzzsprout podcast that tells me if video is needed for podcasting anymore. And if it tells me video is needed, I'm going to try to make sure I look a little better than this next week. So maybe I will see you. 

Maybe I won't. But either way, have a great week. Love you!