Full Body YES!

Our body has so much to say!  When we befriend it we can start understanding not only what misalignment is being manifested physically for us to shift, but also it can help us make our calendar!

Understanding how your body speaks yes's and no's and being using this communication will help you commit to those that you can do with the energy of love, compassion, generosity, excitement (or whatever suits) as opposed to resentment, anger, frustration etc.  Your time, gifts, and presence hold an energy.  Don't give shitty gifts.

Are you ready to create your best holiday season?  Join me for
HAPPY for the HOLIDAYS!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Spiritual Awakening and Taking Action
• 10:47 Holiday Season Self-Care and Priorities
• 17:05 Setting Boundaries and Avoiding Overcommitment
• 30:46 Listen to Your Body and Schedule

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Rise and shine everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy and sometimes lonely journey, so let's do it together. I'm your host, susan Sutherland. I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor. We are all called to rise up above our conditioning and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others. So let's get to it. Hi, family, thanks for joining me today. I hope the sound is okay.

Speaker 1: 0:34

I have no idea where my microphone is. I just went to the beach for a few days and I took it with me just in case. I got a little window to record an episode, but I didn't, and I didn't procrastinate, but I did value that time with my family and and chose to be present with them instead of getting ahead on on this schedule. But now I don't know where that microphone is and this is. You know, know, this is something that we could see coming.

Speaker 1: 1:08

My husband travels and every little thing has its individual case. He's always got his his cables in his case and nobody ever knows where the chargers is, and he's got this perfect case that we're not allowed to touch and borrow from, because his stuff is always organized and available for him to use and we are scattered. I put things in like I have a bag that travels with my journals, I've got a bag that travels with my laptop, I have my clothes back, I put stuff in everywhere and then it's no surprise, I have no idea where my stuff is. It is fun, three weeks from now, for me to be like oh, sound my blah, blah, blah, because that is the life I lead and I'm working on it, y'all. I am working on getting myself better organized, but it is a process and for now I'm recording with the sound of my computer. I'm just hoping it's computer, I'm just hoping it's fine, I'm just hoping it's fine. So, um, you know, last week I was talking about just taking action, about about progress and not perfection, and so that's what we're doing. And a lot of times things, things kind of come up for me. You know, I know I might be talking to a friend who's struggling because she's moving forward and not struggling because she's stuck like she was, and and it, you know, kind of cultivates these episodes and then after I record it, it kind of slaps me in the face all week long. So I'm going to tell you a couple of the situations where it was like oh, this is what I was just talking about.

Speaker 1: 2:47

I had an event at my house and it's been a year ago now that I invited people over. It was a weekend workshop. They didn't stay here, but they came here the days during the weekend for a workshop. Well, before we had it done, I painted the upstairs. Now, nobody went upstairs in my house, I don't think, but it was one of those like, oh, you know, this is a good opportunity for me to pull some triggers right, so get some house stuff.

Speaker 1: 3:20

That needed to be done. That's where all the kids' bedrooms are, which means there is, you know, instead of those markers on the wall that you can see their height. You know, it's an intentional mark where it shows oh, they were three feet, now they're three foot four. Blah, blah, blah. It's more of the fingerprint line, of where you see where they are marking like oh, they've grown, because now marks are higher. Anyway needed to get that fixed, and I did.

Speaker 1: 3:51

And when I did, I took down the framed pictures I have of their artwork, the artwork that they bring home from school. Some of it is frame worthy and some of it is in the top of the closet, but there are some pieces that are. Really I just love them so much and I framed them, and so my hall upstairs is just like a joy walk looking at their artwork as I go down the hallway. Well, I took it down before it got painted, a year ago, and that artwork has not been hung up. And so I started thinking like what in the world? Well, I'll tell you what they say is measure twice, cut once. What's the same as with chaining things is measure twice, nail once. And I will tell you something about Susan Susan's not going to measure at all, not going to measure at all. I'm going to eyeball it, not, you know. Like that's just how it's going to be, and and so I do not have permission to hang things in my house. That is not a rule that I am allowed to take, and Mark doesn't go upstairs very often, and even though over the past year he has built a shed, organized the garage 17 times, we have very different priorities about what should be next on his list, and so the pictures still aren't hung.

Speaker 1: 5:23

And I started thinking about it. It's like my fear of screwing up has cost me a year of walking by their pictures and just being lit up by their cute little artwork. I just love it so much. And so I have to challenge myself, because either I'm going to give my I'm about to go out of town again, so it's not going to be this week, but by the end of next week either I have done my very best eyeballing. You know why I don't think I've done the eyeballing? Because some of those freaking frames are the kind that have like a hook on the left side and a hook on the right side, so you can't eyeball it, you actually have to have the nails in the right place. All right, so by the end of next week I will have hired a handyman to come take care of that, because there has been no movement forward. And that is because I am stuck, and I ain't going to be stuck no more. I am going to hire it out and get somebody over and hang my baby's pictures. So that's one thing that came up.

Speaker 1: 6:29

And then also I've been working with a mentor, christina, on helping me kind of just go back through my business and do it in a new way, just kind of think through things differently, and it is really really, really helpful when you are going through anything but trying to step up in any area of your life. Having a mentor is so important oh my goodness, it is so important On your healing journey or business coaching or in the gym. Like the results I will get by going to a class versus showing up and me being my own instructor. It's like night and day y'all. It's night and day, anyway. So I've been working with her and taking action and you know she gives me a certain amount of homework and I really have to do it.

Speaker 1: 7:28

And so one of the things was kind of creating a brand and looking at kind of almost making like Pinterest boards about what a brand for me would be. What are the things that you know I wouldn't say align to me, but what is the aesthetic that I want to put out there? And so, as I'm pinning things, everything is like very earthy, very homey, very cozy, you know deep and just think like woods and fall and and everything like that. So, um, that's kind of how I like my wardrobe, is how I like my furnishings. If I'm in control of a room, it's kind of neutral and, um, pops of a deep, warm color, but like a cozy feeling. I think cozy is is everything I was pinning was was being underscored by cozy, right, that was the theme, and so I started working from that and trying to create templates, or you come up with different things like that and none of it was working.

Speaker 1: 8:49

And so I was taking action. But it's like everything was just ho-hum, you know, everything was like neutral and brown or whatever, but it didn't feel right. And so I was taking the action. I wasn't getting. I haven't even told y'all what we're talking about today. We're talking about a full body. Yes, and that's what I was not getting. As I was working with these colors and having somebody who's helping me in canva just kind of put some templates together for me as I'm doing that, it was just like meh, I just wasn't loving it.

Speaker 1: 9:25

And so I was taking the action, which is good, that's, that's a good place to be, is stepping forward. But it was just not resonating and she reminded me. It was like this is so early on, what are you doing? If you don't love it, then you go back to the drawing board, and so, and, and so I did, and it didn't take me very long to kind of I had a word come in. I was like search this. And I did, and it was like okay, this is a full body. Yes, when I see this, it is aligned with what I want my business to be.

Speaker 1: 10:05

And so when I was sitting there I mean when I'm pinning things based on what Susan wants what Susan wants is a cozy blanket and a soft chair and a book and a fireplace. That's what I want. But that's not really what this business is about. I am an energetic person. I am, you know, I have color and I have excitement, and so it can't be, it can't just be tan and cozy. And so I had to go back to the drawing board and come up with a new plan, and when I did, I was able to find the full body, yes.

Speaker 1: 10:47

And so in that whole transaction of me talking about it, taking the action and then going, huh, I need to reevaluate this. I came up with what we're going to talk about today because it really is important for us to understand when we are taking action, and it has that, yeah, this is what we want, because that's what we really want to pursue with more energy, with more vigor. And if not, it's like okay, wait a second, let me either slow, roll this and see if it picks up steam in the direction I want to be headed. Or maybe, all right, I got the momentum going but I'm going to pivot and shift away. But I will say a full body, yes, is not just used to steer the ship, it is also meant to stop the ship.

Speaker 1: 11:41

It is really important for us to learn how to say no, how to really evaluate our commitments and coming into the holiday season y'all it is so important. I know, in my household, christmas is my jam and it's my jam on purpose. I absolutely love it, but unless it's cooking the meat on Christmas Day, most of the stuff is on my plate, and when too much stuff is on your plate, it is not joyful. And so last year I really had a reset about how I do Christmas, how I evaluate what I want Christmas to feel like, and started shifting things that way for me, like I love this holiday so much, but when I am trying to do all of the things for all of the people, I don't get to do any of them with a lot of joy, and it requires us stepping back and saying, all right, what are my values and what are my priorities and how can I evaluate how to set up the season so that this feels good to me, and so I'm planning a workshop that's going to be in November where we go through that and really craft our season to feel like we want it to feel.

Speaker 1: 13:08

So I've been thinking about that a lot and we have to do that with our regular life, with our family commitments, with our friend commitments even I mean tennis team commitments I know people on 22 teams and it gets to where something that they chose to do for fun becomes taxing and stressful and not good for your body. So in all of our avenues, we have to really tune into our body and say is this aligned with me? Is this something I want to say yes to? Is this aligned with me? Is this something I want to say yes to? So when I say a full body, yes, it is because your body truly is a communicator and, in addition to communicating energetic misalignments through physical ailment, in addition to communicating where you have some things out of whack, because it's just communicating you, your body is never the problem, it is just letting you know that something else is going on.

Speaker 1: 14:15

But when you can have a really friendly relationship with your body, you can start saying what does a yes feel like to me what does it feel like to really want to do something and start dialing into how that feels in your body? For me, I get tingles. I can feel tingles when something is specifically in alignment, when it's more like an intuitive hit. So if I'm listening to a book and there's something for me to pay attention to, I'll get tingles in my body. But it's also this excitement, this like oh yeah, I want to do that. Let's start listening to that initial reaction but also allow yourself some space.

Speaker 1: 15:08

I can't remember all of the human design elements, but I know for somebody that has an emotional response like I do, it's really important for us to make big decisions after a 24-hour period, after a 24-hour period, and so that initial wave of super excitement or super eh is not necessarily where the wave is gonna settle. So we need to step back from that initial response. I know often my initial response can be very like no, I can't do that. I think I protected my space and my time for so much that sometimes my initial reaction is like whoa, no, whoa, no, and I need that space to let it settle and then just say, okay, where did that no come from? Is it because I don't feel like I have time. Have I really examined what the time commitment is?

Speaker 1: 16:12

I mean, my poor little, my youngest son, you know, the third child who is the tag along. Bless his heart. Next year will be his year to shine when he can, when he is old enough to play school sports, but for now he's. He's my latchkey kid, sometimes doing his homework by himself while I am shuttling my daughter off to her trillion practices and matches and games. But he wanted to do junior assembly. Now I didn't initially sign him up for it because he doesn't like wearing khaki shorts to a restaurant, you know having to get fancy to go out, and so I didn't really think he was going to want to get a suit and go to learn how to have dinner or go to have a dance. But bad on me because I didn't even ask him about it.

Speaker 1: 17:05

I threw that thing away, um, and it had been you know a month and a half and I guess they started going and all of his friends were going, and so he said can I do that? And my I mean no flew out of my face like faster than I could have had a breath, and the no reaction was to the fact that I have, you know, two tennis matches for my daughter each week, two, three practices maybe, and two soccer practices, getting home at 9.15. Like I already felt so overcommitted and he was, he was about to dump something more on my plate and I'm like, no, anyway. So I I took a step back and I said let me get some more information. Because I did throw it away and I got the information and y'all they meet once a month.

Speaker 1: 18:00

Like my dramatic response was so over the top for what the actual commitment level and his, his sweet little friend's mom, was like I work near you, I can pick him up because it's in Gastonia, which is 25-30 minutes away from me, that he would have to go back. That way, she's like I can pick him up and take him and you can just pick him off, like trying to help me. Because I made it so dramatic that I was gonna have to I don't know what I so dramatic that I was going to have to. I don't know what I thought the commitment level was going to be, but I'm telling you my no was fast and furious. So I needed to step back and actually figure out what the circumstances were. Now, this wasn't a full body, yes, I still don't have any kids activities where I'm like, oh yes, let's definitely add this to my plate. But I needed to take a step back and respond in a rational way, and so for me, a lot of times it's not the gut instinct. I need to go with. It's after letting kind of my emotions die out and then seeing what it is.

Speaker 1: 19:06

But I know, in doing this work and pushing myself a lot of times those full body yeses, that I really want to do this. I really want to work towards learning this modality. I really want to start engaging with a new group. I really want to blah, blah, blah. You know, fill in the blank A lot of times.

Speaker 1: 19:34

Those aren't without fear. It's not that a fear of full body, yes, means there's no fear. I just have to look and see. Is that fear from my mind and not my heart? Is the fear my limiting beliefs trying to keep me safe, like my body told me I wanted to pursue this and my mind is just trying to check me, and that's when I have to be like, oh, not so fast to check me, and that's when I have to be like, oh, not so fast. Thank you, I got this.

Speaker 1: 20:12

But the thing is, when we don't learn how to discern oh look at me running All right when we don't learn how to discern and make the decisions from a place that feels good Am I sure I want to do this before I say yes what we end up doing is being overcommitted. We end up saying yes to things and then regretting it. We end up, instead of juggling three balls which we can do really well with no mistakes and keeping them all going in the air we add in and try to get six balls and drop them all, and then we're acting from resentment. We're acting, you know, we're too tired. We've now got more on our plate and we're eating, you know, crappier food because it's convenient. We're not taking care of our movement, we're not getting enough sleep, and so it ends up being a spiral that can take us down, and so, instead of having three things that you get to commit to and put your whole heart into, you are pulled in too many directions.

Speaker 1: 21:28

Now I know for me. At the end of last year, I told y'all all the things I was going to be doing. Like, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do monthly groups, I'm going to, you know, be a NICU baby holder, I'm going to stick with hospice and I'm going to tell you. After I said all of that, which all felt good to me, I had to go and say but what of it can you do? Well, what of it can you show up to and not feel burdensome? Because if you are exhausting yourself, if you are wearing yourself out trying to do for others, you are doing them no favors. I've posted a reel on this before because it was such a great session I had with somebody who was over committing, she was over giving, she was extending herself too much, and we always say, like you can't give from an empty cup, but you are giving. The problem is that what you are giving has energy, and so what you end up giving is resentment. You end up giving frustration, bitterness, anger, because you said yes to more than you can do, while feeling gracious and compassionate and serving out with generosity.

Speaker 1: 22:55

Now I know that there are some things we can't say no to. You're still going to file your taxes, don't feel into your body, you're just going to do it. But a lot of things that we say yes to, we've brought on ourselves and I am, I'm the queen. I nope, I used to be the queen of that. And even tomorrow, tomorrow is my day to go to my hospice guy. I have tennis in the morning and they were like, are you going to join us for lunch? And part of me sometimes will be like I think I could squeeze that in. No, you can't. No, you can't, because what I want to do is come home, have a shower, have a breath, you know, take my time and show up to him so that I can sit and have a lovely conversation. I love my time with him so much and he deserves to have the version of me who is not trying to get one more thing, you know, crammed into my day. And so it's really about checking in and saying what do I want to give him? Which version of me do I want to give him?

Speaker 1: 24:04

And so it's true, in the holiday season, as we say yes to a lot and as we overcommit, and, as you know, you get invited to parties or activities or your kids all want to do different things and you want to, you know, make them happy, are you saying yes to more than you can do with a loving heart? You know what? When I did that reading, what Spirit showed me was the image of Millie I think not Millie Minnie showing up in the movie the Help and she's smiling but she's holding a shit pie. Right, it looks like a chocolate pie, but she's shit in it. And that's what we do when we are giving and giving and giving of ourselves, but we're doing it from a place where we are absolutely spent. The energy you are giving them is shitty. It is shitty, so we don't want to do that.

Speaker 1: 25:06

You have to be really careful that you are not so committed that you're resentful of them for asking that you're resentful of yourself. And this is one of the practices that we have, I would say, particularly as women is to learn how to set boundaries, to learn how to respect ourselves, and we have taken on a lot. It's like, let us work, yes, but we don't. We didn't release like the equivalent, right? So we take on more and more and more, and then it's like, well, I'll prove to you, I can do everything. I'm gonna do this. I'll go to work and then I'll make dinner and then I'll do the homework, and then I'll do the laundry and whatever. And we end up just pissed off and resentful about it, and so it is part of our journey to learn how to ask and receive help and also not commit to anything more than we can actually do with the heart of love. I know that's sometimes impossible. Sometimes we just have to do the thing, but a lot of times we take on 10 more things that we didn't have to do because we want people to like us. We want people to not see us as unkind for not doing it, because, you know, we really wish we did have the energy for it. We're just not acknowledging that we don't.

Speaker 1: 26:41

Sometimes it's fear of missing out. I have gotten over that one now. Now I am. My fear of missing out is like did I get any time by myself this week? Isn't that terrible? But? But we really have to check ourselves and just be like okay, everybody's doing that, but can I do it and do the other things that I'm committed to and still feel really good? So we have to learn to check ourselves. And I will tell you this, and this is one of the things I had to think about I have to think about as I was doing like the monthly groups, or as I'm thinking about taking on new clients in ways that are more flexible to their schedules, the more I allow myself to be opened up.

Speaker 1: 27:38

There is a cost to my existing relationships, right, and so I have to be really mindful and say, okay, what is it that feels like a full body, yes to me, which for me, like this event coming up is on a Saturday, that feels good, it's planned out in advance and I can be available and present for that. But when I was trying to do things more regularly on the weekends, I realized that's not my season and when I'm doing it, I end up either missing a game and then feeling bad about that, or feeling distracted or pulled in too many ways, and it's like wait, I'm making my schedule and that is something I tell my husband all the time, because he will show me his calendar and he has meetings where they're overlapping and it's the entire day and he'll be like this is my Tuesday. Look at my Wednesday and it's like, wow, that's awful. Your boss is terrible. Now he owns his own company and makes his own schedule, but he hasn't figured out yet that he has some of the control of that, and I know a lot of times there's stuff you have to do, but he also has the capacity to block off time and say do not schedule me from you know, 10 to noon every day. This is my time to actually do the work. But he didn't do that and that's his jam. But I'm telling you, you get to be your scheduler when it comes to some things.

Speaker 1: 29:14

If you're working for somebody else, then you can't necessarily schedule your whole work day. If you're in a family, the coaches, the teachers, whatever they're going to have some say too. But when you already know that, then your free time you absolutely must be the boss of, and sometimes being the boss of it means saying no, saying no. I'm really sorry, but that's too much in my week, that's jamming too much. Now I'm not saying free yourself up for 52 hours of TV, that's not what we're doing. That is not what we're doing.

Speaker 1: 29:53

But we need to be able to show up for ourselves, feeling whole, feeling like we are not pulled in a hundred billion directions and not able to take care of ourselves because we're so busy trying to take care of everybody else. So I hope you'll think about that. I am. I am going to get those pictures hung up. Is what I'm going to do. I'm kind of tempted to go and see how many of them have those weird hanger things. Maybe I could even tie the little wire that goes from one to another and then you have to just stick a nail in the middle and hang it. It's too bad. My husband doesn't listen to this podcast because if he heard it I would have some pictures hung in no time and he was like, oh hell, she's got a hammer. It's that bad.

Speaker 1: 30:46

But anyway, all right, you guys, um, mind your business, and that means mind your schedule. Start listening in to how something makes you feel. If it doesn't feel good, you don't have to do it. I mean with discernment, with discernment on that, of course. Okay, make good choices. If you really have to do it, do it. But we, we need to start allowing our body to let us know what we should be doing a little more. All right, love you all. Have a good day. Thank you so much for joining me this week. Be sure to not miss any upcoming episodes by subscribing to the podcast. That way, it's available automatically in your RSS feed. This is a crazy journey. Let's do it together.