Wake Up with Susan

Self Talk - The Critic and the Cheerleader

• Susan Sutherland

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Have you ever wondered if a simple shift in self-talk could transform your life? Our outer world reflects our inner world.  Are you your loudest critic or your biggest fan?

Embrace your inner "cowbell cheerleader" and start your day with positivity and humor! Understand the impact of your inner voice, and choose to replace criticism with gratitude and optimism.

With each episode, I aim to inspire kindness toward oneself, which in turn spreads positivity to others, creating a happier world. Catch the vibrant moments and new episodes on my Instagram stories, where we celebrate this journey together.

Are you ready to speak and create positivity and joy into the holiday season?  Join me for HAPPY FOR THE HOLIDAYS a workshop to move from chaos to calm and connection this holiday season.

Thanks for listening and sharing with others who are ready to level up their life by choosing kindness to themselves!

Speaker 1:

Rise and shine everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy and sometimes lonely journey, so let's do it together. I'm your host, susan Sutherland. I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor. We are all called to rise up above our conditioning and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others. So let's get to it. Hello family, thanks for tuning in.

Speaker 1:

Today we are going to talk about self-talk. We've talked about it before. We've talked about affirmations, we've talked about positive mindset, and you know what. We're going to do it again because I really think it is the key component for changing your life. And also I had a really fun experience I want to share with you about how this inner dialogue, how this inner world that we have, is reflected in our outer world.

Speaker 1:

So I've told you that your triggers are your teachers and those harsh words that people say to you, the ones you know. If somebody says something to you and it's unkind or unfriendly but it doesn't carry a charge, that's their shit. Right, that's okay. Perhaps they're not very socially conscious, they're not very aware of how to interact. If it has a charge, it's meant for you. It is meant for you. So if you see life as cleaning your vessel. We are just trying to remove everything that we are not, and what we are is perfect, whole and complete. What we are not is anything that makes you think you are less than that, anything that makes you think you are less than a perfect spark of divine creation. All of that limitation. That's not what you are, and so we're here to find those limitations, find the fears and the self-doubt, the need for forgiveness of ourselves or others. We're here to just kind of clean that vessel up like that doesn't belong in this, that doesn't belong in this. And so when you have interactions with others that do carry that charge, that hurt your feelings or make you know the hair stand up on the back of your neck, that's meant to show you that you've missed a spot in your vessel. So I've used this example before, but it's an easy one because it really it. It got me, it stuck me on what I was working on.

Speaker 1:

And so my husband went on a business trip and he was traveling with somebody who is very spiritual, very awakened, um, and a really sharp dude, and he was telling him about my podcast and his response was I only have a limited amount of time to listen. So I just really choose to listen to, like Eckhart Tolle and you know, michael Singer or some of the really big name powerful spiritual teachers. And when he told me that, it hurt my feelings so bad, like it got me right, but it had nothing to do with this guy whatsoever, nothing to do with him. Those were my feelings, those were my self-doubts. Who is going to listen to me when there's all of these brilliant spiritual leaders in the world? I mean both both past and present? We have plenty of spiritual leaders with tons of content that you can indulge on indefinitely I know I do. We have brilliant spiritual leaders who are out here right now creating content, writing books, hosting courses, all of these things. Why would somebody listen to me? And so all he was doing was saying hey, susan, this is your self-doubt, I'm just showing you it's still there. You've still got to work through some things. Yes, you made a bold decision to start doing this. However, your vessel's still dirty with tons of self-doubt, and so I know that he was just meant to reflect that back to me, and so I had to do work now. It is not like, not like okay, now I'm pristine. That will never come up again. It will come up again and I'll be able to tell by how my reaction is is how much I need to get back and get after that, right? So I want to tell you a story on the other end of the pendulum, right?

Speaker 1:

So I was away at Derek's weekend the DG Mind Fest and when I came home my daughter had her semifinal tennis match. She is on the high school tennis team she's eighth grade, but they have one tennis team, so she plays varsity tennis and I had missed her quarterfinal match to be at the tennis. No, I had missed her quarterfinal match to be at DG's weekend, so I missed her match on Friday. I know a lot of this is repeat if you listen every week, but I'm going to stop assuming that everybody knows all my business and maybe it's your first time listening, so I'm catching you up but I missed the match. And when I came home I got home on Sunday night and then Monday we were hanging out after dinner and her match was on Tuesday. Her semi-final match was on Tuesday and my daughter is not super extroverted or she's more serious than I am.

Speaker 1:

She is fun, but she is definitely a bit more introverted, definitely more. What should I say? A little less wild and crazy than I am, thank goodness. She also, like, can build Legos and follow directions, and I cannot, like we have a lot of similarities and then a lot polar opposite type things where I just want to, you know, jump in and do something and she wants to find an orderly way about everything to make sure it is correct. And I ain't got time for that. Like, I'll go ahead and screw it up 15 times and probably quit before I finish, but I'm jumping in. I'm jumping in. So anyway.

Speaker 1:

Monday night she was telling me that she's so glad that I'm going to be at this match that she really needs me to cheer loudly. She told me that the the volleyball team had ended up coming to the quarterfinal match and they were cheering them on and it really helped her. She needs me to cheer loudly now. If you've ever been to a tennis match cheering loudly is not usually something that you see at tennis matches, and if you've ever been around teenage girls at a tennis match, you can guarantee that a lot of the moms are permitted. Maybe a slight golf clap, maybe, you know, occasionally a good shot, but there is not a lot of loud cheering. That is not what we are permitted to do.

Speaker 1:

And I am permitted probably the most of the moms there, perhaps because she's the youngest and kind of still looks to me for support. I don't know, but I'm I'm permitted more than most. I'm allowed to stand at her court. I'm allowed to give like a really understated fist bump when she looks my way. I am not allowed to give any strategy whatsoever. If I see something, though, I can text her coaches that when they come by, maybe they could tell her something, but it is not to come from me. One time I can't remember what I said. Maybe you know, remember to move your feet or something. And and after that she was like I don't know why, but that made me so mad, don't do it again. So I have never, ever since then, given her any kind of feedback on her game whatsoever. I give her encouraging smiles and golf claps, that's it.

Speaker 1:

But what I was instructed for this semi-final match was to cheer loudly. She's like mom, I really need you to cheer loudly. I was like girl, I've got you Like. This is my jam. I can totally do this. I can be loud. I can cheer for my daughter. I'm permitted to get loud. Yes, she's like. Yes, she was like you can even bring the cowbell.

Speaker 1:

Now, last year at States I think, I got the cowbell at a tennis match. I can't remember, but I got pom-poms and a cowbell. Maybe they give them out at a pep rally, I can't remember, but I had it from tennis and I can't remember using it. But she's telling me you can bring the cowbell. I was like I'm totally going to bring the cowbell, let's do this. I, I'm totally going to bring the cowbell, let's do this. I'm cheering for you. I'm going to be like cowboy, cowbell crazy at this tennis match. She's like don't, don't do it for every point, but if we have like a good smash or something, then you can read the cowbell. I was like all right, I got two pom poms, I got a cowbell, I'm cheering loudly, I got you, I got you, I got you.

Speaker 1:

So we go to bed and the next morning I woke up and had the biggest aha moment. It's like what the hell just happened that I have permission to be loud and crazy at a tennis match. I had just gotten home from this weekend away where we are stepping into the next version of ourself, like we are letting go of the limitations, the last version, that kind of. They reached the level, they reached the pinnacle of where they can get and now we have to release that version to step into the new version. Right, and I told you I was feeling good.

Speaker 1:

I was feeling as authentically me as I've perhaps ever felt, because I was able to allow my personality, my humor and my fun side to come through as well as my spiritual side, and I feel like a lot of my life. I am compartmentalizing, like okay with these people, it's okay to talk about this with these people, it's okay to be silly with these people, and everything is just kind of. You know, I don't know I'm I'm like parted, parted, like you can give this, this version, and this, this, this version. You understand what I'm saying. I'm sure everybody does that you have to be your work self and your home self. Well, at this weekend I felt like I was my full self and it felt so good and I'm I'm like pumped up and I'm happy. And you know I was being super silly.

Speaker 1:

And when I'm having a foot race into my hotel room, I'm looking in the mirror and I'm like I am her. You know how the kids say like oh, you're not him, you're not him. Well, DG was using that and part of his presentation, talking about guys that he's working with, like, oh, you're him. And so when I'm running into my hotel room, I'm taking a pause from my race to be like I am her, you know. And so I am being loud and crazy and I'm cheering myself on, like we are gonna do this. We are gonna freaking do this. Everything you just wrote out about what 2025 is gonna look like for you, like that is what's happening, because I'm here for it. Like all those limitations, all that self-doubt, all that, whatever I am done with it, I am stepping into this new version, like here, we freaking go right.

Speaker 1:

So when I woke up in the morning, I was thinking, oh my gosh, my daughter is reflecting back to me, my inner voice. It doesn't just go with the triggers, right. I have my daughter who's telling me to cheer with a cowbell at a tennis match. That was my inner voice. That was my inner cheerleader going hell, yes, we are going to do this, be loud, be ready.

Speaker 1:

So I went to the tennis match and I took you know, I took my stuff and when I got there, I was so aware that she was just showing me that from my own personal reflection, and it probably wasn't truly coming from her desires and her wishes. And so, while I did take the pom-poms and the cowbell out with me, I did not ring it until oh bless her heart she got to win the fifth line. They need five out of nine lines to have secured the match against the opponent, and she finished the fifth line and so when she completed her match, they had won the semifinals, and so there was a big like you know and everybody else has. They get to stop playing. We didn't need them to finish, we had done enough. And so she gets to finish and then I get the cowbell and that way the other lines know that we've done what we needed to do. I get to ring the cowbell, all while knowing she did not want that during the points, she did not want anything more.

Speaker 1:

I did cheer a little more with my voice and and clapping, but not to the level that she said she needed the night before, because I'd already realized the message. I already took the message that I needed, and then we got to settle back into reality, right, like she wants me to be there and cheer, but she didn't want a cowbell cheerleader. That was just a reflection of my inner world, and so the question now is are you going to be your inner critic or are you going to be your cowbell cheerleader? Are you saying in the mirror we've got this, because that's what's going to be reflected back to you? Is all the people who are supporting you going yes, let's do this.

Speaker 1:

When you believe in yourself, then you create this reality that believes in you as well. Then you create this reality that believes in you as well, and so it's really important to start your day with the awareness of what your thoughts are, because so many of us are stuck in that program of automation. You wake up and the second your eyes open, you start with negative thoughts about oh my God, I'm so tired. Clear, cancel, release. I have enough energy for everything I want to do today. You get to choose. You get to choose your thoughts, and so when they suck, choose again. You don't want to have that thought. When you wake up and you say, oh my God, I don't want to go to work today. I hate my job, wake up and you say, oh my God, I don't want to go to work today. I hate my job. Oh God, thank you for the opportunity to go to a job. Perhaps there's a new connection, a new lesson for me to learn there today. Thank you for the money that it provides for this roof over my head and the food that goes into my mouth.

Speaker 1:

Whatever you need to do to start canceling out the automatic programming of negativity, do it immediately. Do it immediately. Your thoughts are your freaking choice and they determine your external reality. So if you don't get hold of them, don't be disappointed when everything looks negative to you, when everything is a struggle. You claimed it, you owned it, you chose it. So if you don't want to choose the negative, start cheering yourself on. Yes, I woke up today. I have breath. Yes, I get to roll out of a warm bed and get into a warm shower. Start switching the way you look at your family, your work, your home, your life. Start reprogramming your brain. You deserve a cheerleader. You deserve a freaking cowbell in the mirror going holy hell, you've got this girl. Look at what you are capable of. So start shifting.

Speaker 1:

You know what we are doing a course in miracles, as I told you, which is daily lessons. It's a channel text by Jesus to an atheist in the 1970s. That's the whole thing. But it is basically him trying to reprogram you out of fear-based religion. Like everybody took what Jesus thought he was teaching and like, swirled it into a big ball of fear and scarcity and sin and all of that, and he's like sorry guys, sorry, sorry, that's not what I meant to say. So, um, that is what A Course in Miracles is. It's reprogramming. So in chapter 15 of the text there's a part of it and I just love this so much and you would think I loved it enough to get it out and and be able to read it verbatim to you. But I love y'all too much to do that because it is still some complicated wording and we ain't gonna go there.

Speaker 1:

So it basically says stop asking God to destroy your limitations, to destroy your walls and your barriers, because he didn't put them there, you did. If you don't want those limitations, take them down. Like we are choosing to see ourself as anything less than infinitely capable and that's just not true. So if you are seeing yourself for all the things you can't do, you can't do them because that's how you're seeing yourself. So start challenging those thoughts. You get to change them, you get to reprogram them. You get to rewrite your script and your story into something that you want to celebrate, that you want to show up and be like, yes, I am doing this thing.

Speaker 1:

If you do not feel abundant in your life, at your job, find the areas where you feel abundant in your health and start celebrating that in your family and start celebrating that. For whatever you see is lacking, stop thinking about it, stop announcing your lack and limitation and start celebrating the same feeling or aspect that you have in another avenue of your life. We do this in everywhere in our relationships, in our money journey, in our purpose. If you're like, oh, I'm struggling, I can't find my purpose, I can't find my purpose. Did you have a conversation with a cashier? Can you find purpose in a conversation Like? We put purpose in a conversation Like we put everything so outside of the moment that we have right now that we always are operating from a place of lack. So start focusing on what you have, what you can celebrate, what you want to cowbell, cheerlead Like.

Speaker 1:

Start looking at yourself as ways to pump you up and then start watching how the world will do it for you, how that gets reflected back to you, and pay attention to it, pay attention to when you start shifting, how you approach your day, how you approach what your day will hold for you. If you believe that traffic's gonna suck, you're gonna sit in boring meetings all day and you know it's gonna be an awful day, well, okay, you chose it, that's the day you chose, or you can shift it. I am in the car a lot. I mean a lot y'all and I see it as my personal education time. I'm listening to books. I will not be caught complaining about my car time because it's an opportunity that I get to share conversation with my kids, sometimes if they don't sleep, to share conversation with my kids sometimes if they don't sleep, or to listen to a book, or to have one-on-one conversation with myself and my guides. But I choose to see it for what it gives me, the positive in the situation instead of, you know, somehow complaining about it.

Speaker 1:

And so we really have to just start shifting to focus on what there is to celebrate and seeing how that can be reflected back to you. And when you start celebrating yourself, you start changing how, like it is the intentional program rewriting of how you see yourself, how you see other people change too. You want to celebrate everything for them. It is so easy to start finding the really great things about people, instead of what they lack, instead of their weaknesses, instead of the parts of your relationship that you might struggle with. It is so much easier to see what is there.

Speaker 1:

So your assignment for this week is to find some new ways to cheer yourself on, to find all of the times when you are programming limitations into your day, when you are confirming self-doubt and limitations about who you are and what you're capable of. We're going to cancel all that out. We're going to start being our own cheerleader. Start talking, talking yourself up. If you are looking in the mirror and finding your flaws, we got to stop it. We have got to stop it.

Speaker 1:

So find the things that you can be grateful for that. Find the things that you can celebrate. If you have the best right earlobe in the whole wide world and that's all you got, then that's all you look at and you talk to your right earlobe and you celebrate that thing because it is beautiful. And if you can celebrate its beauty, you can start getting to where you can train yourself to find other things you love, and it's really important that that be your focus and not what you're lacking, not what you think that needs to be fixed, because when you focus on something that needs to be fixed, because when you focus on something that needs to be fixed, you are amplifying the problem. When you focus on the good, you are amplifying the good it's. It's just how the universe works. It just is.

Speaker 1:

So do not focus on that. You that that you wish weren't there. Don't focus on the parts of you that you would like to change. Focus on the parts of you that are amazing. Amplify that. And as you do that, as you shift how you talk to yourself, as you shift how you create your day, the other things will shift too. The person who appreciates their body eats better. The person who eats better moves more. The person who moves more can make better decisions, have more energy at work. It is a snowball effect that starts with you being kind to yourself.

Speaker 1:

So that's the homework for this week. I'm not telling you to get a cowbell, but why the hell not? Why not stand in the bathroom and just give yourself a couple jingles in the morning, unless your husband or partner is sleeping, and then your day really might not start off the way you hoped. But you know what? Maybe that's a good way to wake up my kids. Next week is to be like look, this is the week we are cowbell cheerleaders. Normally they get a song, rise and shine and give god your glory, and they get it in the level of mood that I'm in and what kind of annoyance I think they require to get their butts out of bed.

Speaker 1:

So maybe I'll add a cowbell. I'll let you know. Anyway, have a great week, be so kind to yourself, and in doing so you'll be so kind to others, and your whole world will just become a kind little happy place. Isn't that great? All right, love you guys. Bye. So many of you click the link on my Instagram stories to get to the new episode, but sometimes I forget to post it. So go ahead and subscribe and that way you'll be notified as soon as a new episode is posted, which right now is every Wednesday morning.

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Susan Sutherland

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