Wake Up with Susan

The Impact of Spiritual Awakening on Relationships and Parenting with Carly Grant

• Susan Sutherland

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What happens when your partner embarks on a spiritual journey you're not on? Carly Grant, CEO of DG Mindset, offers a candid glimpse into navigating life with her husband, Derick Grant, as he explores his spiritual awakening. Carly opens up about their big move from Indiana to Florida and the rocky return journey that taught them invaluable lessons about resilience and making the best decisions with the information available at the time. Tune in to learn how the couple's experiences with unexpected professional and personal challenges, including the upheaval of COVID-19, have shaped their perspectives and strengthened their relationship.

Ever feel like you're on a different wavelength than your partner? Carly shares how she manages being at a different point in her spiritual journey compared to Derick, revealing the importance of patience and respecting each other's paths. Through personal stories, Carly details how living authentically and practicing spiritual principles can naturally inspire curiosity and growth in a partner. This episode also touches on the complexities of parenting with diverse perspectives and the significance of open communication in fostering a supportive environment for mutual understanding and growth.

Parenting doesn't come with a manual, but Carly's insights might make it a bit easier. Reflecting on her journey to redefine parenting away from societal norms, she talks about shedding ingrained beliefs and focusing on personal growth over external validation. Carly shares her experiences with encouraging her children to pursue what they love, rather than chasing accolades, and the profound impact this has had on their family dynamics.

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Speaker 1:

Rise and shine everybody. It's time to wake up with Susan. Spiritual awakening can be a beautiful, messy and sometimes lonely journey, so let's do it together. I'm your host, susan Sutherland. I'm an intuitive healer and spiritual mentor. We are all called to rise up above our conditioning and limiting beliefs and shine our light on ourselves and others. So let's get to it. Hi everybody, thanks for joining.

Speaker 1:

I am super excited for today's episode because I get to interview Carly Grant, and if you're not familiar with Carly, she is Derek Grant. I talk about Derek all the time because he's such an inspiration to me, but it is his beautiful wife. She is also the mother of two children and now is the CEO of DG Mindset. They also have a couples podcast coming out soon called Tea Time, where they just have conversations and talk about tea, thoughts, emotions and action so I'm really excited for that as well. Thoughts, emotions and actions so I'm really excited for that as well.

Speaker 1:

We got a little preview when we were at DG Mindset and we were able to ask them questions and get feedback, and what I left with was how amazing it was to hear her side of his awakening journey, her side of not being on the same path and the same timeline and not having the same understanding and what that was like for her, and so I'm super excited for her to share her side of the story. And so here we go. Hi, carly, thank you so much for joining me today so that you can share with us the other side of spiritual awakening, the kind of spouse's perspective of what it is like as someone else is going through this and what your journey has been like too.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me. I feel like you know, I wish I would have had this resource when I was, when Derek was going through his awakening and he was becoming more aware, and two for him to have had this resource as well. I think that would have been really helpful. So hopefully we can shine some light on what it looks like and give ourselves grace through it all and learn a little bit too. Yeah definitely.

Speaker 1:

I think for my husband it has been really challenging because I'm wanting him to know things, but speaking a language he doesn't understand. And when I came home talking about MindFest, the thing that made his ears perk up was, hey, derek's wife got up there and shared her story Even more. So he is also a Scorpio and the like. Here's my to-do list of how you do things and I'm like, wouldn't this be cool? Let's just do this and and that's not who he is. And so when I shared part of your story about, I mean, what a journey you've had to get to where you are now, but I think it was really comforting for him to hear that there's somebody else who is now really involved in spirituality, really involved in Derek's business, running it. Yeah, but it was a. It was a journey for you as well, so I'd like to get in to that.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so I know we're not going to go through your whole life story. Derek's got an amazing podcast to hear more about that. Yes, yeah, but y'all went through really a hard time, which, thank you, universe. This is how y'all push us to where we we have to go, and on the other side of it it feels comfortable. But when you're going through it, it very much is not Exactly. Yeah, through that transition, y'all's whole world got turned around, so I'll let you give your shortened version of that.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So yeah, in 2018, we moved down to Naples, florida, for an opportunity that we felt like we couldn't pass up. We felt like our kids were at the perfect ages to kind of plant ourselves in a space to grow professionally and fast forward 365 days. We're moving back to Indiana with nothing to show for it and it was just a really turbulent time for the four of us, for our family. You know, the kids were little so we tried to shield them from as much as we could, but it's a big transition, moving from everything you know to a whole nother state and then turning around and moving back. So you're essentially leaving. You know your people, your family here, moving to another place, and then you're saying goodbye to friends that you made, to this new life that you were creating, and moving back home.

Speaker 2:

We were given so many choices even before. There were so many red flags and precursors to moving down to Florida that we didn't see at the time that I don't believe we were supposed to see. I think that a lot of people can get caught up in regret and looking for like, oh, we should have done this or we should. Well, we didn't, we didn't Right. So we made the choice and we moved down there for the knowledge that we had, the understanding we had, the awareness we had. We felt like truly, it was a partnership and we were making the best decision for our little unit of four people me and Derek and our two kids. And you know, like he's talked about a lot on his podcast and just his story that he tells there were some things that went awry when we were there with this business partner who we trusted, this friend that we trusted, and we realized soon that it was not what we thought it was going to be. So we had to start making choices on how to move back and we basically started from the ground up again as far as what life would look like. I went back to work full time. Derek was able to really create DG mindset and what that looked like really create DG mindset and what that looked like and in doing that, there was the residual effects of our move continued on for really those two years that I was working, because I felt like I didn't want to be working out of the house. I wanted to be home when the kids got home from school, and then you had COVID on top of all of that.

Speaker 2:

2020 happened. So there was just a lot of more downs than ups, the ebbs and flows. It really didn't feel like it was flowing, but we were able to navigate it in a way that we look back and we're so thankful. And that sounds cliche and it sounds like, well, yeah, but really though, how'd you feel? And truly, even in the midst of it, even in the turbulent times in Florida, even moving back, even feeling like wow, the, you know, the rug has slipped out from under us, there were still moments of real gratitude in real time that, even looking back on now, I'm like, wow, I can't believe we were still grateful we were able to find that time to practice gratitude through, you know, one of the arguably the worst times in our lives.

Speaker 2:

Derek and I, from the very beginning of our relationship and we talk about this a lot we always fall back on communication and with his time with the Globetrotters, he traveled for eight years different countries, different states, different time zones, so we were forced to nurture this relationship around communication and that never wavered. Through all of the stuff, all of the things that we've been through, we fall back on clarity in our communication with each other and, through that time of moving back, figuring life out. Derek started to go on this journey and it was a journey that was intentional. It was a journey that the timing was perfect. The universe was conspiring for him to have this moment at this time, for a purpose. It wasn't just by coincidence or I'm just going to pick up this random book, but he started to go on this journey of really like self-discovery and figuring out why he is who he is and why he operates the way he does and why all of these things have been happening to us up until this point. And he really started to dive into the spiritual side of how it all works, which is everything.

Speaker 2:

And, like I said, I was working full time, so I didn't have the time, I didn't have the energy, I didn't have the wherewithal, the bandwidth to pour into educating myself. And at first he was very, he was learning all this stuff. Right, he was like so excited about it. He was reading this book, he was reading that book and he was just on fire and I could not meet him where he was because I was just exhausted and I was confused and I was not up to that level yet where he was, because he really took time to just research, research, research, do the work. And I wasn't doing that same work, and mine looked completely different and I was more in survival mode, where he was in growth mode already, and, while the business may have not looked like that at that point, he was growing, he was expanding, he was evolving so rapidly that he wanted me to experience it, because he loves me, and he wanted me to experience all of the great things that was happening within his life.

Speaker 2:

But I wasn't like tracking, it was like we were not aligned in that space and you know, I'd finally told him and part of being a Scorpio, I don't want you to tell me what to do Like I am probably going to do the opposite now, because I don't want to be pushed and pulled, and he knows that about me. I will say, though, when I'm excited about something, I like to talk about it and I'm signing off on it and I'm telling people about it. So I understood where he was coming from, but he was just speaking a different language. I appreciated his excitement. I didn't appreciate at the time how he was coming to me and expecting me to kind of get on this, I guess, flow of kind of where he was.

Speaker 2:

And so finally we sat down and he was like I realize I can't expect you to come, like where I'm at right now, I know you're going to do that in your own time and as soon as he like, relinquished that control and that he was kind of like a spiritual ego a little bit, that him and I even talk about now that he felt like I needed to reciprocate what he was saying and doing, and I just wasn't at that space yet because I didn't have the awareness. And still to this day, the books he reads and the books that I read are completely different. While we align on the big topics how we get there, our journey, our path they end up at the same place but they're very different in how they look.

Speaker 1:

So probably what I hear most from clients or listeners is about finding your purpose. And second is what do I do if my spouse is not awakened? And a lot of times in the conversation is this spiritual ego like I've left them behind, I have moved up, I have elevated and therefore they are lower. This is how I, you know, can't deal with it. And and in that they've lost acceptance, they've like lowered their vibration, lower than their partner. Essentially, yes, it's judgment, but it's really hard for me.

Speaker 1:

I had a similar journey as Derek, in that I retired from my corporate job that I'd been at for 20 years and was just doing real estate investment. But I found myself just sitting on a bench reading and writing, and reading and writing. And my husband's, like are you going to actually do something? Like you quit to do more investing? And all you're doing is sitting and reading and writing. And he would get home and I'd be like and this and this and this. And it's like, please stop telling me this, I'm not interested, you're speaking Chinese, I have no idea what you're saying, I'm done. Yeah. So I chased him around with books and I got him crystals and journals and this and that. And it's like come on, come on, do this. Let's do this now. It'll change your life. Come on, I promise you this is the way forward. Come on. And he's like I am not having it and it took me, like you're saying, where you stop trying to force it and just live it. And now he's slowly but surely, like I call him, spiritually adjacent.

Speaker 2:

He's aware of more than most because it's kind of ever present in his realm, but it has to be his own path and his own time Exactly, and I think that that's the biggest piece that you talked about is if you just live it. And that's what I started noticing when Derek kind of relinquished that control of like I want her to feel this, I want her to experience this. While it was coming from a good place, it was still pushing me farther from what he wanted, and when he just started living it, I was like wow, there's it attracts, like energetically it does attract and you want to know more, you want to learn more without being told do this Right.

Speaker 1:

And I feel like for sure, like you were working and my husband's working and y'all get home and it's almost not respectful of the energy you've had to be in and work in. And I now, with hindsight, I can see that he got home and what I got back from him was resentment, like you have all this time to just work on you and I'm having to go do this. So when I get home I want to chill. I don't want to, you know, dive into Plato's Republic in the evening, like that's not where I'm at yes, no, you're hitting the nail on the head for sure.

Speaker 2:

Like that is exactly. The feeling was okay, well, while you were doing that, I was doing this Now, and even really then I was so thankful that he never stopped learning. He still hasn't stopped learning, right to me, that is such a huge quality that he's not figured it all out right, and I think that as soon as you get to that point where you think you have it all figured out, you really get a lot more learning to do and he's so eager, eager to learn, and it makes me curious, it makes me want to know more and you know, I started buying books, I started journaling a little bit.

Speaker 2:

My journaling started to look a little bit different. I started to take control over my life versus life just happens and this is just the way it is. No, actually I'm in control, right, I can figure this out. And watching him go through it first kind of almost gave me permission. And not that I needed it, but at the space that we were in, coming off of such a hard time, I needed that carrot. I needed that thing to show me it could be done, and not from a material point of view, not financial whatever, just the freedom, just the richness of life that you can actually feel outside of money, outside of this house or this car or this job. This status is just the fulfillment you can actually have in learning more about yourself and why you are the way you are and all the endless possibilities out there. So, watching him navigate it and him allowing me to learn on my own time, it gave me the opportunity to be open to everything.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, and how have you been able? Because, let's, it's not like y'all arrived back in Indiana and everything was going swimmingly and you were, you know, like it was still a struggle, and so when we can look back on it, it's like, yes, this was all in perfect timing, but that's not really the day to day when you're in it. But how do you navigate parenting when he is wanting to do things differently and probably being more mindful of how he communicates to his kids? And were you totally on board at first?

Speaker 2:

I will say he was very Derek's, always been like, really present, because in like when I was, we kind of flipped roles so I was out of the house, he was in the house, and then COVID so he was doing e-learning. He was doing all that and I was considered essential worker so I had to go outside of the house. I feel like his parenting is something that, even before we had kids, was understanding, coming down to a kid's level, all of those things, while still having boundaries, having expectations for our kids. That really never wavered. I feel like his parenting, if anything, he became more patient and understanding, but I can't say that anything changed as far as that space goes.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah, for you were you already that, so. So when I'm thinking about it now after going, back and kind of going through my programs of what is expected, what, what makes you a valuable human and and kind of deep programming, all of those things. It has shifted my communication with my kids.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah so but my husband wasn't there he's like no, of course they need these grades and this and this and this, and so now he has shifted. But it took a little bit of working through because he, you know, for a little while, when he didn't understand what I was going through and what I was learning, is like the book of Sue. The book of Sue does it this way. Well, reality is this. Reality means you have to do this. It's like we're reprogramming reality. That's not how we're going to do it anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and we, if we're not careful, we just do things because society says no, kids, kids do this and kids need that, kids need this. So, for sure, our parenting has definitely shifted as far as societal demands that we place on our children and not allowing them to feel the pressure of outside stuff because it's irrelevant. But yes, the kids were when this like I will say, when our like awakening started, they would have been like five and seven. So there was still at that age, there's the constant like boundaries that you're setting for kids. But as they're getting older, so grades, sports, they're very active.

Speaker 2:

We constantly encourage the kids to play against themselves. You're not playing for accolades, you're not playing for the kid in the stands, the parent in the stands, or like the coach. Even If you're going to do something and you're going to for the kid in the stands, the parent in the stands, or like the coach, even if you're going to do something and you're going to spend energy doing it, you might as well enjoy it and do it for yourself first. If you're playing a team sport, then of course, like you're like, you are a teammate. But to take, take away the, you need to have this grade and you need to have that grade and these test scores and that is not something that we push and I'm friends with a lot of people who do and they're constantly on it and no, I'm not passing judgment there.

Speaker 1:

I just see the stress that that puts on kids, yeah, and you can see now the stress that they must have been under. Like it was how you saw your value when you were kids that you're now projecting on your own children. Like you felt that pressure from your parents, like I have to do this to prove my value, and now that is being projected on the next generation. And so I really laid back with my kids and I want them to know success isn't your report card, it is also how you treat people. Are you happy, are you finding fun in your day? Are you doing something you're passionate about? And so that's kind of been a very that's a lonely path in the parenting world. And so to get my husband on board and be like, look, you know, we can do things differently because everybody should, everybody should, and you're right, and we.

Speaker 2:

And something Derek and I talk about a lot is that we are triggered by our children at the ages we were at that time. So, you know, my 10 year old son is going to trigger my 10 year old Carly and my nine year old daughter is going to trigger my 10-year-old Carly and my 9-year-old daughter is going to trigger the 9-year-old Carly, and it goes back to times where in our subconscious programming we weren't even aware of Right, but it's triggering that. You know, we recorded it, we just don't remember recording it. But I can in real time say gosh, am I projecting right now Because something I dealt with? Their life is completely different than mine. They are not responsible for 10-year-old Carly. How do I now, as they're bringing this up out of me, which is what kids are supposed to do for us? It's a huge, important role for them in our lives that we've been gifted is to like pivot and say, huh, yeah, I don't want to continue this cycle.

Speaker 2:

So I know for me something that when I was a little girl, it was always like wear a pretty dress, you know, look prim and proper and say the right thing, and my mom and I even laugh about this now because I tell her, you know just, my mom and I even laugh about this now because I tell her, you know just, I can remember not wanting to wear certain things, not like I didn't want to do that, I didn't. I feel like I couldn't be myself. I couldn't, that was my way of expressing myself was how what I wore and I know I started noticing when Ruby started going to school I felt like I needed to pick out the cutest outfits and buy the cutest things and expect her to wear it. And she didn't want to. It was uncomfortable and she would tell me, oh, I get hot at school if I wear that. I don't like the way those jeans feel.

Speaker 2:

And I had told Derek the story already about how, oh my gosh, my mom would make me wear a dress or she would do this, and that just drove me nuts. And then he kind of called me out on it and made me and he said you're doing the same thing to her by making her wear things consistently. That she's telling you this is uncomfortable, I don't like sitting on the floor during community circle time at school and having to wear. And I was like, oh my gosh, I am like it is not that deep, it is not that important for her to wear. It's like the control thing of. That's what I did, even though I knew I didn't like it.

Speaker 2:

I was starting to project that onto her and then, once I had the awareness of it, I'm like, oh gosh, no Like. Why don't I just let her pick out clothes when we go shopping? Or if she's grown out of all of her stuff and it's time to you know, new season, new clothes for her? She needs to pick out what she's going to wear, not me pushing it on her, because that's her way right now of her little nine-year-old self of expressing herself is something as simple as what she wears, and I need to let her have the freedom to do that.

Speaker 1:

And it's irrelevant what anybody thinks Right and what a good job of him to say hey, remember how you discussed, how your mom made you feel, instead of saying you were just like your mother because that would not have been received nearly as well, would it?

Speaker 2:

No, and I probably would have been like, well, now she's definitely wearing this. No, but he, he did very lovingly say hey, remember this. And I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, you're right. And now I'm fully aware of that and you know, and she knows that too. So it's just those little things that as we get older and our kids get older, and those new things will pop up. It's being able to whoa. Let me reevaluate this for a second, because naturally I want to say this because this is my programming. But is this actually helpful for anybody?

Speaker 1:

It was wild In one of the power hours Derek started talking about getting earrings and that he hadn't, because his dad didn't like earrings for guys or whatever. And that afternoon my 14-year-old daughter texted me and said she was going to a sleepover. And she said her friend is going to go get her second earring pierced. Is she allowed to do it? And then immediately I go to say no. And then I was like I actually really like how that looks. I'm responding from my mother, not from me. Like settle down, susan, what do you think about this? And then I was like be my guest, get it, you know.

Speaker 1:

Like just make sure you get good earrings that aren't going to ruin your ear or whatever, but it was like your initial response is from the programming and you have to have the awareness to be like pause, pause, pause. What do I actually think?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, exactly. And I I find myself doing that a lot, giving that quick, and then I have to tell myself pause like you said is this really? Is this what I would have been told, or is this the reality? Looking at big picture here, is this really a big deal, or am I making it a?

Speaker 1:

big deal, yeah, and I didn't get upset with my kids a whole bunch. The last time I kind of like really got frustrated with them. I had gone on the school lunch account and see that my 16 year old buying coffees and snacks and this, that and other, and just like rolling up a bill. And when he got home I totally freaked out on him and I was like, whoa, this, this is my money work, actually, because I didn't even know the money was gone like it wasn't. Oh yeah, we didn't have, we weren't missing the money. I didn't even know until I went to fund to his account that he'd been doing it, but it was my limitations. Now, did he need guardrails? Yeah, yeah, he did. He needed some doorbells and some boundaries. But my reaction was from my scarcity as a child, from my limitations and having, oh, I can't get this and I can't get this, and so it was just bringing that up and I was doing a money book at the time, so it was just in my face. Hey, you need to look at the scenario, please.

Speaker 2:

Yes, Wow scenario, please, yes, wow, kids, I know, and they will pull it out of you my goodness, I'll pull it out of you so quick but I think that part of being a parent is being able to say like, oh gosh, I was wrong. Or oh gosh, I could have done that differently. Or apologizing to our kids. You know, derek and I talk a lot about that, like saying sorry, hey guys, that you know more often than I would even like to admit because I'm sorry, I should have, I could have done that. Yeah, because essentially, you're teaching them how to apologize to other people. And if we're never apologizing to them, if we're never raising our hand and saying we're not perfect parents, how are they going to learn how to give themselves grace and how to be accountable for their own actions if we can't do that?

Speaker 1:

Right, and I just assume that me apologizing and us working through this now is going to save you some steps in 20 years when you're doing this work. Like maybe, maybe I can soften the wound that I'm creating in you, Cause I'm sure I'm just digging knives in them left and right with what I'm doing.

Speaker 2:

But and that's part of it. Like they have to eventually learn on their own and learn the things that you know. Okay, I'm going to take this from my parents I'm not going to take that Right and I'm going to then implement it into my you know, my new family. That's just part of growing. I just, at the end of the day, you know we want our kids to be to love themselves and love other people, and if we're teaching them to do that, honestly, the other stuff is it doesn't matter, right, agree, Because it's. It starts with themselves first.

Speaker 2:

And I don't know if you've ever seen the Brene Brown quote of her talking about the candleblower outers. Have you ever seen this? I don't think so. She's giving a speech somewhere and she's talking about when her kids were in like third and fourth, fifth grade. She started noticing they would come home with stories about kids at school, and that's about the age where kids start to kind of find their own voice, have opinions, maybe say things that aren't so kind sometimes. But she started noticing that. So she sat her kids down and she told them in an age-appropriate way that everybody has this candle, everybody has this flame and we're all carrying it around and it's our soul, right, it's our soul and it's who we are inside and how. It is our responsibility to, number one, keep our own flame lit right. So we have to keep our own flame lit. We have to keep our own candle lit, yes, but also our responsibility is to keep others' flames lit by encouraging them, by being kind, by being considerate, by being respectful, by respecting yourselves and, in turn, you're respecting others. And she talked about candleblower outers and how the candleblower outers could be people who want to blow your flame out, but it's your responsibility to to stay lit and to keep others, other people's, flames lit.

Speaker 2:

And I'll never forget I heard that and it just really resonated with me because I felt like at the time our son was in third grade and I'm like I bet he could really receive this information right now and I shared it with him and it's one of those things you know, you think are they listening? Who knows? It's going in one ear and out the other and a couple of weeks went by Actually, probably a couple of months. Now that I think about it, this was three years ago. And he's telling me about this girl and he's like oh yeah, I made a new friend and he's telling. I was like, well, tell me about her. And it's like the first time he's ever at this.

Speaker 2:

He was probably in fourth grade at this point and I said, well, tell me about her. And I'm thinking he's gonna say a typical boy thing like oh, she's pretty, or she likes basketball too, or you know whatever. And he said, she doesn't blow my flame out. I remember thinking, you know, don't react, because then he's not going to keep telling me things. But I'm just so thankful that I was able to receive that information, which wasn't by coincidence, and I was able to then give it to him in a way that he found to be super helpful. And we still talk about that. I talk about it with our daughter now because she's in fourth grade, so she's able to receive it. And I think that, as parents, you'll find things along your parenting path that you feel like will really resonate with you or your child, because everyone's different you or your child, because everyone's different and taking advantage of those moments, that you have and like pouring those in, and it's only going to benefit everybody.

Speaker 1:

Oh, for sure. Okay, we had a good time with parenting, but we have to get back to sticky spousal situations.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yes, you're right, you're right.

Speaker 1:

So back to that. So, as he's going through his awakening, really changing his beliefs or or letting go of the beliefs he was given, right yes. Yep, you were working at a church, right yes, how does that go If you're not on board with somebody and they are kind of changing what you collectively have been in alignment with? How did you navigate that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that was the hardest part, truly, because with church, there's so many things intertwined in there. That's like telling you not only is this foreign to me, what you're saying, but it's also against what we actually believe, which made it even trickier for me to navigate. I will say, the more I started to expand my awareness of other religions and just the universe and the magnitude and the vastness of who we are, I started to notice things within the church that I was confused by. For the first time, I started to ask questions that I was always told you can't ask and getting no answers, essentially. So that was a hard part, and not going to church anymore, that sunday routine of of going was just like something that we always did. It was always expected, but also I had always viewed myself as good because I went to church, right, right, right, right, and that was all humans which we were taught to do Like yes, yes, this is how you prove your goodness.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and as soon as you leave, you can do whatever you want, but as long as you show up next Sunday, you're good, and that was something that I learned at a very early age. This is just what you do, and so untangling all of that was the hardest work that I had to do is understanding that I am no better because I go to church. I'm no worse because I don't go to church. How do I treat people? How do I love people? How do I love myself? That's the biggest piece of it. It's not.

Speaker 2:

Who sees me on Sunday at church, right, and everybody, I think, receives their. They get their cups filled differently, and even within the church that we were going to, we started noticing things that we were not aligning with anymore. I started to feel like this isn't sitting right with me. Now. It doesn't mean someone two rows down wasn't like this is like I needed this. This really spoke to me today, but more often than not, I was not aligning with the message anymore. I felt like it was confusing me, I was questioning things and I didn't want to be in that space that was encouraging it. I felt like it me. So that was the hardest part, because I think religion is so tricky because you're told not to question, you're told to stay with it and not allow anyone outside of it truly to come in, and that it is the only path. It's the only path. It's the only path. It's the only path which is interesting, because each religion, it's their only path.

Speaker 1:

The only path.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So that that was the hardest part, I will say. There was never a point where I felt like he's not getting it because he had gone through it, he had questioned it. He just did it at a much more rapid pace than I was able to do it. So I found comfort in knowing he's already untangled all these things, because he grew up very similar to me as far as being in the church. But of course the tricky part was that I was working in the church. That's tricky, I will say too, though it almost catapulted me because I started noticing things with this new awareness that I was having that I'm like I don't know about that. This seems yucky to be elementary about it, but it did.

Speaker 2:

There were parts of them, and that's different. That's with every business, because church is a business. It's with everything you know, with a doctor, with whoever you know. It doesn't. And I think that I always put church leaders, church people, on a pedestal. They did no wrong, they do no wrong. They are the highest, you know, closest thing to God that we have. But once I took away that power that I was kind of giving all these people and I started to learn more about myself and I wasn't as confused, everything started to seem really clear to me when I started to pull away the formalities of um, yeah, so how?

Speaker 1:

how did you navigate when he's awakened and you are still not, yeah, explaining to your family, your extended family or your friends like he's different, or they don't kind of keep that under wraps, like he's going through something different. How do you navigate that? Because I'll tell you. I'm asking because for I don't know how it's going through something different. How do you navigate that? Because I'll tell you. I'm asking because for I don't know how it's going to be this time, because Mark's parents are about to come from South Africa. But I would tell you, last time they were here, it was like, don't talk about any of the stuff you talk about in front of my parents. You know it's very much. So were you comfortable with?

Speaker 2:

him. There were times I feel like with my parents that I was uncomfortable because it was new, yeah, and I didn't fully understand it yet. So because I didn't understand it, I was very like, no, but once I started to understand it, once I started to get a perspective in my own lane that I was in, it all started to make sense. But also I think that there's a level of I respect their religion, I respect Derek's parents' religion. I respect those and I never want me to come across, or Derek to come across, as like I'm trying to convince you of something. We're not converters, right? I don't want to convert you.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to convince you because I, anytime someone does that anyway, I automatically just say like, okay, pump the brakes, what do you? That's that's to me, that's religion, and I don't like that feeling of someone convincing me. I can be excited about something, but I can also sense that energy when someone's excited or someone's trying to convince me, and the way he was able to articulate things, because his gift is being able to. He's an anomaly, derek is he's able to communicate on a way that he can talk to anyone with the highest, you know, iq and religion and all the things down to a child. Yes, and he can have this. He can have the same information but message it very differently. So he was able to still respect where they were, but also share what he was excited about and the freedom that you can get from, from understanding more about the universe and about how all of this works. Right.

Speaker 1:

And it truly is his gift, and I finally got my husband to follow him on Instagram this week because I was trying to explain something and I was like it would be really helpful if you followed him, because he is so good at simplifying things and making it where it's like this just is, you know, like this is how it is, but it's very simplified and he's a guy, so I hopefully that will resonate so to listeners who whose husbands are spiritually adjacent and and on their own path at dg mindset, on instagram and youtube and everywhere, is a great resource for just simplifying how the world works, how energy works, works.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yes, yep, and I think that that's we all want, that we all want a simple, efficient way to learn about ourselves, to learn about why things work the way that they do. I think that we can overcomplicate it, and some people can overcomplicate it to make it, but I think the more complicated it is, the farther away it seems. You know, and he does have a gift of bringing it back to the basics as long as you understand those, you know, you can understand anything, and it just goes up from there, right.

Speaker 1:

I think Mark was even saying, like he was questioning me, and saying well, isn't what you believe now? Just another sect of people believing something, which I hear what he's saying, but it's not you know, it's not driven by dogma, it's not driven by you know rules and parameters, and I think one of the things that I saw recently that I love so much is religion is based on somebody else's experience and spirituality is based on your own experience, and so that's what I was trying to tell him is I. I don't want you to take something from me. I want to invite you to have your experience.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and I think that's the best advice that you can give honestly, because that is the difference, and I do advice that you can give honestly because that is the difference, and I do. I felt that same way as your husband felt, because I remember thinking like you're just in another tangled web, Right, so why would I want to be a part of that? And once you understand it, I was like, oh yeah, no, I'm on my path here, You're on your path here. And while we align, it doesn't look the same. And while we understand those core values, principles, there's just an understanding that we have. It's not like contingent upon anything. We'll believe this, and then you have to believe that, and then you have to believe that that doesn't exist. That's when I started to really understand that, oh, this isn't. This isn't a thing, this isn't like a man-made construct.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, and the more you do this exploration into yourself with with different modalities, be it human design or astrology, or even we started in the community working with numerology and so last week I worked out my numbers and then I worked out Mark's numbers and when I read him, his outer personality, he's like so spot on. And when I read mine it's so spot on, like I'm not making this stuff up. But the beauty and understanding all of these different things is that he's not meant to be like me, right, he's not supposed to follow my path. His destiny is not the same. His soul imprint is not the same. It gives you a beautiful understanding that somebody is perfectly different than you are on purpose.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes. And how fortunate to have found someone who's so different than you and you learn so much, because if it was the exact same as you, you wouldn't learn anything, because he brings stuff up out of you just like children. You know that you're able to learn in real time. Gosh, like this is really like. This is kind of triggering me right now. What do I need to learn from this? Right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I appreciate this conversation so much. I think it is going to be so beneficial for both sides of the couple you know both sides. Going to be so beneficial for both sides of the couple, you know both sides. But all on our perfect path in our perfect time. So if you've got just a couple pointers, a couple tips for those who are awakened going, I need my, I need my partner on this journey. What do you tell them?

Speaker 2:

First, give your partner grace. Give yourself grace, understand that the timing doesn't have to look the same and, essentially, the path doesn't have to look the same as long as you're living it. And you know, I don't know everyone's relationship, but I started to be more curious. But I started to be more curious, I started to open up, I started to, I allowed myself to receive. When I understood energetically he was just living it he no longer was convincing me. So I think, as long as we're not pulling our partners, that we're just hold our. If you hold your hand out and wait for them to lean into that, that's when they'll start to see okay, they get it. I was able to kind of relinquish that control and instead of feeling like I need to pull them along, I'm just allowing them to come over to me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you so much for your time for sharing your story and your energy with us. You're so welcome. Thank you so much for your time for sharing your story and your energy with us.

Speaker 2:

You're so welcome. Thank you so much, and you know, like you said, I hope people are able to receive this and take it in any way that they need, whether it's a partner, a friend, a parent, whatever it looks like. Hopefully, this information is useful Totally.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much. Hey friends, it only takes a second to leave a five-star rating. Don't have time to write a review. Totally, thank you so much.

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Susan Sutherland

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