The Remembrance Codes

The Harmony of the Divine Masculine & Feminine | Rebalancing Structure and Flow

• Susan Sutherland

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What if the war inside you isn’t about willpower, but about two sacred energies trying to find each other again?

This episode explores the living dance between structure and flow -what we often label masculine and feminine -and how culture split them into roles, rules, and hierarchies that left many of us either overbuilt or unmoored. Through raw stories from home- late night injury scare, a brutal bike spill -we trace how subtle childhood scripts echo into adulthood as control, perfectionism, or emotional overwhelm.

We reframe these forces beyond gender: the feminine as breath, intuition, and creative current; the masculine as consciousness, steadiness, and form. When they move together, tenderness gains a spine and inspiration takes shape. You’ll hear how to notice when your inner builder or your inner river is out of sync, and how to restore trust so structure serves creativity instead of stifling it.

A simple practice - one hand on the heart, one on the belly, breathing until movement and stillness meet - can begin the recalibration. Power, when sacred, is presence. Surrender, when sacred, is trust.
 What might you rebalance this week?

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SPEAKER_00:

Every soul carries two universal forces: one of stillness and one of motion. You can see them as the forces, one that would build the riverbed and the riverbank, and one that becomes the water. We've called them the masculine and the feminine, but really what they are is a dance between form and flow and presence and pulse and consciousness and creation. Today we are going to talk about what happens when these two currents meet, not out there in our relationships, but in here in the temple of the self. Their harmony was the divine creation, but along the way, the human story has fractured them. And the currents that we carry, these forces that live in us, the masculine and the feminine, were divided into roles and into rules and into hierarchies. And the masculine became the provider, the protector, the head of household, of companies, of boardrooms, of militaries, of countries. And the feminine became the nurturer and the emotional one and the heart. Men were taught that their value was in their provision, in their paycheck, and not in their presence. They have been told to man up and to draw their tears and to equate emotion with weakness. They were praised for control and not for connection. And many grew into these adults that are disconnected with their feeling body. They are all doing and no-being. Women were told that intellect belonged to men and that intuition was hysteria and that their beauty was power, but power was dangerous. They were conditioned to make themselves smaller, to question their knowing, to place others' needs before their own. And so, generation after generation, both of them forgot their counterpart. The masculine lost its heart, and the feminine lost her voice, and and so both lost their wholeness. And we often think of these scenarios that may have happened collectively, but not really in our worlds. But I have witnessed it in my home, and I live in a pretty awakened household. But I had a situation a couple years ago in which my daughter was out jumping on the trampoline with a friend at night in the dark, as one would, and she fell off. And my little child came in running, you know, saying she's hysterical, she's fallen and hurt herself. And my husband joined in the hysteria. I mean, she might as well have had a limb ripped off. And he, you know, she hurt her wrist, and he's like, Look, I can see the bone. And it's that little bone that sticks up in your wrist all the time, always on everyone. But this was like full-on hysteria to get her to the hospital, which also doesn't have an orthocare unit. And so you then have to go to the orthopedist the next day, which the mother knew. But anyway, to calm the hysteria, we ended up at the ER to get a brace to go to the orthopedist the next day. Anyway, anyway. Then I saw my son, who was 10 at the time. We were on e-bikes in Park City, and we went off the road, which I thought we were riding on, onto mountain bike trails, which we had no business being on. At least he and I didn't. And we're on these trails, and there were several mistakes that happened. One, we had a 16-year-old leading the way, a 16-year-old who is very good at mountain biking and has no fear. And he gets to this hill and goes down it. And then the 10-year-old follows. And of course, he's not going to be outdone. So down he goes, and I come up behind my daughter who stops at the top. And I'm like, if I stop and look at the hill, I'm not gonna do it. And I'm the mom who doesn't want to be like the wussy who won't do it. But I'm like, are you not gonna go? She's like, uh no, voice of reason. She's the smartest of all of us. So she stops and I stop behind her long enough to watch my son roll this bike over on himself. And now I can't get to him because I'm scared of the hill, and I'm like, don't get my body, like full on hysteria for him. And so my husband has to go down to him where he is screaming, I don't want to die. Like, this is how bad he assert himself. He's hurt his wrist, it's bleeding, he's bruised his ribs, he's got like bruises everywhere, and he's so hurt. And after two minutes, my husband's basically telling him to dust off that he's gotta ride the bike because we have no way to get it off the trail. He's gonna have to get back on the bike, which you have to really hold on to with your hands, and his hand is swollen, right? And so I'm sitting here negotiating these two scenarios in my head, and the wounded masculine is just layering in my head. So I'm trailing behind, overcompensating with my son, honoring his feelings and saying, if this hurts too bad, I will walk it back for you. You can you can walk and I will figure out how to get your bike back. I know you're hurt and your tears are valid. And so the whole way we're following behind, and I'm giving this over-emotional validation to him. Your tears, I see your tears, I see you, I feel you, your pain is valid, all of this stuff. And so I just want you to recognize if you have a boy and a girl, how are they treated the same or differently? Or if something happens in public, what is your emotional response and how is it different if it's a boy versus is it if it's a girl, if somebody's crying, you have these different kinds of reactions because we have to start recognizing when this programming has landed in our field, because it very much has. And we just have to bring awareness to it, okay? Because I really feel like the pendulum to reclaim the wounded masculine, for them to restore their softness, has not had the same velocity as the divine feminine. When the pendulum swung to reclaim the feminine, to heal the wounds of suppression and to speak and create and rise, I feel like it went past center for many of us, me included. In the process to find our voice, some of us learned to reject the masculine altogether, to see structure as control and direction as dominance and protection as patriarchy. I worked for a company for 20 years, a corporation, and was mothering three children at the time, and there was schedules and planning and organization and all of the things. In fact, I had an au pair when my baby was born. I love her so much. And after she left, she was writing and making jokes with me. And he was like two years old, and she's like, What are you doing? planning his 16th birthday because I used to have everything so scheduled and so organized. And so when I left my job, my pendulum swung so hard it nearly fell over. And I resisted having any kind of schedule and organization, like my need to be free, became almost chaotic. And I am having to relearn that structure can support and nurture beneath all of this. Both of these currents, both of these energies are sacred. We need both, both are divine, and both are necessary. You can see when these energies are not in balance in ways people cope. A child who had to parent themselves growing up is often in the masculine too soon. They are the responsible one, the protector, the planner, the organizer, and safety becomes control. They need to control the scenario. Their feminine, the part that plays and feels and receives, goes into hiding. But a child that grew up in chaos, where feelings were everywhere and boundaries were nowhere, they may mostly live in their feminine and can be deeply empathetic and deeply giving, yet unsure how to hold themselves steady or or strike a balance, to know what they have, the capacity or the need to hold. So when we grow up, these patterns don't disappear if we have not brought them into balance. They show up in our relationships. We attract what reflects our imbalances because often it is easier to see it within someone else than in ourselves. The man who feels emotionally numb may find a partner who overfeels for both of them. Or a woman who struggles to trust her masculine energy may attract a man who can't hold structure. But the truth is, as we've talked about, it is never about fixing someone else. It is about meeting that missing energy within, finding your own internal balance. I recently had a soul session with a practitioner, and it was deeply meaningful in so many ways. But one of the things that struck me, and I have shared so much about my marriage on this podcast, but she said that I am the protector of my family and I am a protector in my community, but I need to yield so that Mark can be the protector of me. So this brought up for me the need to balance my feminine and my masculine. One of these bars is one that I can't yield. I can't yield having someone else be responsible for my protection because protection would mean control. And so I'm having to negotiate where that imbalance is with me so that I can trust and that I can allow, that I can receive that kind of protection from someone else. It's really about finding this dance and this flow within ourselves to allow these energies to work in harmony. Because the feminine is the breath of creation. It is intuition and emotion and cyclical and receptive. She is the wind that carries the unseen into form. She feels before she knows she bursts through surrender. The masculine occupies consciousness itself. It is still and focused and steady and productive. He is the witness that holds space for all that moves. He acts with purpose, not reaction, and he builds the structure that lets the feminine create freely. So when they move together, life becomes art. The feminine dreams it, the masculine builds it. The feminine feels it, the masculine anchors it. And through the meeting, through this dance, the soul remembers how to create without fragmenting. An overactive masculine shows up as control and perfectionism and overthinking or the inability to feel. The overactive feminine shows up as chaos and lack of boundaries or avoidance of action. Many of us are healing from both, from centuries of imbalance that are written into our nervous systems. We have learned to associate power with domination and surrender with weakness, but both of those ideas come from misunderstanding what these energies truly are. Power when sacred is simply presence. Surrender when sacred is trust. And when they meet, we create not from fear or force, but from flow inside form. You can feel that this reunion is happening collectively now, that systems of control are collapsing. Voices that were once silenced are speaking again. Men are learning to feel, and women are remembering that they can lead without losing their softness. It's not a gender war, it's an evolution of consciousness. Humanity is remembering the sacred marriage within itself, and the world we build next will depend on whether or not we can hold both truth and tenderness at once. So how do we begin allowing these forces to dance? Start by noticing moments when you lean too far to one side or another. When you overwork or overplan or feel the need to hold it all together, that's your masculine asking to rest. When you feel lost or overwhelmed, or like you're endlessly processing emotion, that's your feminine asking to be held. Find a few minutes each day to sit with both. One hand on your heart and one on your belly. And breathe until you can feel movement and stillness at once. Whisper to the feminine. Whisper to the masculine. You are trusted to hold. And imagine these energies meeting in the center of your being, not merging to erase one another, but dancing as equals. For me, I notice the dance most vividly when I'm recording or writing or receiving transmissions. That is my feminine, and it is open and it's airy and it's fluid and it's connected to the unseen and it is my happy place. But it's only half of the work. For my energy to serve others, it needs a vessel. It has to have a structure to land in, and that's the masculine. When I sit down to edit or organize or prepare, I can't leave the flow behind. I'm bringing it to form. The feminine births the idea, and the masculine makes sure it reaches the world, or at least you guys. And in that moment, they are not at odds. They are in divine partnership. And truthfully, this is what I am still working on mastering. I prefer to be receptive. I prefer to be in creation. And I am having to learn how to welcome, engage with my masculine so that it provides the structure that can help me with my mission. Because my mission is not to fill up a whole bunch of journals. It is to bring stuff forward. And I have to have a better system in order to do that. This dance is how creation becomes completion, how a vision becomes service, how energy becomes embodiment. The sacred marriage of the masculine and the feminine is not a destination. It is a lifelong dialogue between breath and bone, between what moves and what remains, between your need to express and your need to rest. When the inner masculine meets the inner feminine, the war within you ends. Your discipline becomes your devotion. Your sensitivity becomes your strength. And your life gets to become the ceremony where heaven and earth meet within you. As I have been working to find this balance, I have learned that they are not in a 50-50 dance. In fact, I do better when I prioritize my flow to allow some days, even some weeks, to be centered around my feminine. And other times, creating structure, organizing, I feel more in the flow of my doing, often based on a moon cycle. If you know what I mean, sometimes I envision myself building the temple, and sometimes I'm resting at the altar. Both are needed, but I have to honor that the one swinging the hammer and the one channeling transmissions requires something different from me that must be honored. And because I am fonder of one than the other, I actually have to be more mindful to make sure that the construction work gets done. So I wanted to share this this week because we have talked so much about the divine feminine rising that my inner worker bee, busy laying the riverbed, was knocking and saying, Hey, don't forget about me. So as you move through this week, remember this truth. The masculine and the feminine within you were never meant to compete, only to complete. They are two hands of the same source, reaching to create together. So if you are able now, I would love if you would take a moment with me and close your eyes. Let the mind loosen its grip. And let the body remember the language of breath. Inhale, the masculine awakens. Exhale, the feminine returns. Two tides meeting in the heart's horizon. Say silently within you. Let your spine become your pillar of light. The sacred staff of the masculine. Let the breath become your river. The holy current of your feminine. And as they meet, feel the spark at your center, the child of their union, a pure creation, pure presence, pure love. May you walk from this moment as a living marriage of heaven and earth. May your actions carry grace and your grace take form. You are the altar. You are the flame. You are the place where the two become one. Thank you for listening and for remembering and for walking this path beside me. See you next week.

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Susan Sutherland

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